


Pen name - D.O

by Julibun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-11 03:04:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11705478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julibun/pseuds/Julibun
Summary: Being a male adult in South Korea doesn't stop Kyungsoo from writing and publishing fanfictions that'd make your heart race about the person who owns his career, his life, and his heart.Have you ever imagined what it'd be like if your idol read your stories?In which Kyungsoo is a pretty popular fanfiction writer who's luck got him involved with the subject of his obsession - Park Chanyeol.- I had way too much fun writing this one. Please let me know what you think! ♡





	1. Chapter 1

 

  
A knock on the door.

Kyungsoo didn't even bother raising his head from the screen illuminating his face. He was in a way too comfortable position to even imagine moving a muscle.  
It can only be one person at the door anyway, and it's not like they're missing the key.

Kyungsoo never understood why Baekhyun knocked to begin with everytime he arrived even though he has a spare key to Kyungsoo's tiny apartment already.

Although in the back of his mind he knew that Baekhyun was just trying to be considerate of his privacy and personal affairs, the front of his mind was busy pulsing his fingers across his laptop's keyboard at an incredible speed.

For the past two years, every single time Baekhyun came to visit him, Kyungsoo was always in the same position somehow. It's almost ridiculous.

Whenever the door was unlocked and his energetic cheerful friend hummed his way through the corridor and into the living room, just like right now, Kyungsoo was seated at the corner of his couch. Covered in at least two layers of blankets if not more, and the laptop right in front of him while his fingers bolted their way across the keyboard with no seen effort.

It was always cold in his apartment due to the airconditioner constantly running without a pause; cold and dark.

Although the interior design was pretty modern and included a lot of bright whites and greys, the black curtains covering each and every window in the apartment made the atmosphere a lot dimmer even during the most sunny days of the year.

 

  
"Kyungsoooo~"

Baekhyun called out his name with a wide grin. Kyungsoo couldn't see the smile since his eyes are glued to the screen, but he could hear it in the other's tone.

His eyes finally peeled off the dazzling machine only when Baekhyun's body flopped down right next to him on the couch, leaning against his side and stretching himself right on top of Kyungsoo shamelessly.

"Dude, when was the last time you stretched? You became a caterpiller again?"

Kyungsoo's eyes met with his friend's and with a small release of a sigh he raised his fingers and fixed up the glasses.

"When will you turn into a beautiful butterfly, hmmm?"

Baekhyun insisted on whining and being noisy apparently, he even poked Kyungsoo's cheek with his finger before smiling as wide as before and raising his other arm which was holding onto a plastic bag.

The smell of baked sugary goods instantly filled Kyungsoo's nose and his lips automatically curved upwards, just enough to announce to Baekhyun that his arrival is indeed appreciated, just like every time.

 

  
"So how did the meeting go?"

Kyungsoo asked his visitor once he finished the last bite of the delicious warm butter croissant he was gifted. From the formal way Baekhyun was dressed now, he could only assume that the other came over right after the questioned event ended.

"Ughhh...."

An unexpected grunt from the other made Kyungsoo raise his brow questioning as Baekhyun massaged the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Trust me, you're so lucky that you can do what you like for a living... I'd sell my soul to finally get that promotion I deserve and get out of that filthy office! Being a lawyer is so tiring..."

Baekhyun whined again, giving Kyungsoo an almost heartbreakingly hopeless look before suddenly pointing his finger upwards as if he just remembered something.

"Speaking of which-- Did you finish it? I'm really pumped for this one!! You rarely ever write such soft ideas... Especially after your last piece... Boy, I was not ready for it."

Baekhyun's expression turned from excitement into a mischievous smirk halfway through the sentence, and Kyungsoo's sudden wide eyes only made him laugh with amusement.

"I think that one broke the previous record you held actually... Not only did it have over five smut scenes-- but it also had the most readers!! Over one hundred thousand!"

Baekhyun nudged his elbow into Kyungsoo's blanketed side with another smirk.

 

  
"You're so embarrassing.."

Kyungsoo replied with a deep sigh and poked his friend's side back, making him jump and laugh again.

He was right though...

Kyungsoo's last written piece was the most successful so far. He's really made himself a name by now; Pen name - D.O.

Kyungsoo has been writing fanfictions for the past five years. Specifically, fanfictions about a very certain someone, someone that he has been crushing on from way back. Way before Park Chanyeol even made his solo debut.

Actually, now that he thinks about it, Baekhyun and him became friends around the time he began writing, his one and only close friend.

He was so very thankful to Baekhyun for his constant support and encouragement in everything.. But really, when he says all of these things with such a perverted tone it can't be taken seriously.

  
About an hour or two later, Baekhyun was finally on his way out of the apartment, but of course he wouldn't leave without opening the curtains just a little bit and taking the trash out with him.

"Thank you again Baekhyunie."

Kyungsoo parted with him, waving calmly.

"No problem bro, good luck with that... 'Soft' piece of yours."

The other replied with a playful wink before entering the elevator at the end of the hallway outside the apartment and disappearing.

Kyungsoo went back inside and locked the door, sighing and following his friend's instructions.

He stretched his body a few times while walking back to his usual sofa corner to continue writing again. This time, like he explained to Baekhyun earlier, the piece he's writing will be completely soft. No smut.. No sexual undertones.. Just pure affection and love.

  
  
\--

 

Kyungsoo, or 'D.O.' is one of the most popular fiction writers known on the internet. Keeping his identity completely anonymous.

Through his long writing period and the content he brought out to the dedicated fans of Park Chanyeol on some writing platforms, he gained not only a pretty massive fanbase but also some sponserships that allowed him to quit his job as a kitchen worker at a restaurant and spend all of his time writing.

The reason he keeps his identity a secret from the public is.. Pretty obvious. He is a guy.

Now, it wouldn't be a problem at all, if only he wrote completely different stories in his pieces.

D.O is a pure smut writer. In every single story Kyungsoo has published on the plaforms, whether if short, long, plot filled or completely plotless, the main focus was no other than the sexual interaction with Park Chanyeol.

Being a man in Korea and writing such sexual content for the public would not only be frowned upon, but he would most likely recieve a lot of hate and risk his own well being.

 

  
So to avoid the hassle, all of D.O's stories are always between the female reader he writes as, and Park Chanyeol.

When he began writing about Park Chanyeol five years ago as the musician made his debut, he never knew it'd be the start of his new lifestyle.  
But thanks to Chanyeol's raising popularity in Korea, his written pieces got to be seen by the growing fanbase of the one and only person on the planet Kyungsoo ever felt attracted to.

Honestly, he could continue writing such things forever.. Kyungsoo's imagination was trully limitless when it comes to Chanyeol.

He wrote things he would never want to even think of again in his life. It was awfully shameful yet extremely fun to be 'D.O'. To be the girl Kyungsoo imagined Chanyeol would be able to fall for.

To be with Chanyeol like that. Even if only inside his own mind.

Was he a fangirl? Or a fanboy? Kyungsoo himself didn't know.

 

  
It's true that Kyungsoo only writes himself, the writer, the reader, as a girl.

Yet whenever he had these visions of scenarios in his mind, he wasn't able to control the fact that he is a male.. And all of the interactions he ends up writing as a girl were actually playing out as himself in his head.

It was bitter-sweet satisfaction. But he wouldn't have it any other way. Exposing himself and his gender would be too risky.. So he should just shut up and enjoy what he CAN do.

Kyungsoo made himself comfortable on the corner of the couch again. He fixed his glasses and pulled the laptop closer.

His previous story was filled with so much sexual tension and intimate scenes, that even though he normally doesn't write anything other than smut, Kyungsoo chose to change gears for this piece.

 

  
This time the story he's writing is going to include nothing even remotely perverted. It'd be a sweet plot of him or.. her, the reader, entering a newly opened coffee shop and falling in love with the amazing waiter Park Chanyeol.

It'd include a lot of smiles.. Laughs.. And soft interactions such as holding hands, sharing an umbrella in the rain, and feeding each other cake while playing with the cream.

Everything was already written except for the very ending Kyungsoo has been struggling with for a while.

At first he wanted it to end with a kiss.. But in the end of the long writing night, he published the piece with a different finish in which the reader has to move away from town and leave Chanyeol behind, holding onto the necklace Chanyeol gave her.

Kyungsoo monitored the newly published piece for a few minutes, watching how the comments and reactions started flooding in from the 'Notification Squad' of his fanbase.

With a small smile of fullfilment, he finally shut his laptop off and headed to bed.

It was an easy life.. Sitting and writing all day and getting paid for having a wild imagination that he could luckily put into words.

 

\--

 

About a month has passed, throughout that month Park Chanyeol began releasing clues and statements about an upcoming comeback, and Kyungsoo's excitement for the moment to finally arrive was off the charts.

He had already pre-ordered the album and even set up a group with a bunch of other fans in which they'd be able to exchange the photo cards they may get so that all of the participants will have the full collection.

Really, at Kyungsoo's age it might seem inappropriate to have such obsession with a celebrity.. But Kyungsoo's life as a whole is very unconventional to begin with.

Tonight is the night, the title song's music video is about to be released in less than an hour. Kyungsoo had all of the possible devices he owns set on the page it will be appearing on.  
Just like any other obsessed fan.. He will be busy streaming it at the moment it's published.

It's almost as if Kyungsoo's entire life is revolving around Park Chanyeol. Technically speaking, it really is.

He gets paid off of writing about him, he thinks about him every second of every day, he does all of this even though he knows Chanyeol will never even know of his existence.

 

  
The moment is here, the video is released.

The first time Kyungsoo watched it, he was way too excited about the music to pay attention to anything in the video itself. But by the fifth time he replayed it, he decided to focus on the music video and see what it's even about.

The video was shot from a first person's point of view.. of a girl.. meeting a waiter who's played by Chanyeol.

Whoa, that's familiar. It's almost like Kyungsoo predicted the future. He laughed to himself quietly from the thought.

It gets a little weirder from there.. As the video continues rolling Kyungsoo has an intense feeling of deja vu.

That's crazy, they're holding hands? Sharing an umbrella in the rain? Feeding each other cake and being playful with the cream..?

The smile that coated Kyungsoo's face until now had disappeared fully when he reached the end of the video in which it is shown that the girl has to leave Chanyeol behind and opens a locket necklace with a picture of the two of them.. That was given to her by Chanyeol himself.

 

  
This is an exact replica of his written fiction coming to life in the music video. What is going on?  
Kind of suspicious and very strange.

Well, the plot really isn't that original or unique.. But the events in this music video played out in the exact order and actions that Kyungsoo himself wrote in the story he published a month ago.

Right when the video ended for the fifth time, his phone began ringing.

"Hello?"

"KYUNGSOO!! DID YOU SEE THE VIDEO?!"  
  
It was Baekhyun's voice.

"Yes I did--"

"IT WAS EXACTLY LIKE YOUR STORY?! THAT'S TOO WEIRD!!"

"I noticed it as well, it's strange."

"Kyungsoo, look at the comments of the video, look at your wall on the website!"

Huh... What is Baekhyun talking about?  
Kyungsoo began clicking on his laptop, hearing Baekhyun's awed noises from the other side of the line as he read the flooding comments.

Reactions such as 'You stole the MV from D.O!' , 'Did D.O produce this?' , 'D.O D.O D.O WROTE IT FIRST!' , 'Are they dating? How did Chanyeol know about this story?' kept appearing endlessly and recieving high amounts of likes and recognition.

Oh no... This is a mess.  
The last thing Kyungsoo needs right now is a rumour spreading around. He gulped and opened the page of his publishing profile. Similar comments were flooding there as well.. this is really crazy.

"So? What are you going to do? Look at that, all of the fans say you should sue them.."

"Really? How on earth am I supposed to sue them..? Wouldn't it be too much trouble to sue Chanyeol..? I don't want to cause a mess Baekhyun.."

"Dude-- you don't get it?? They stole your idea!! Word to word!! Every single thing you wrote appeared in the video, there's no way it's just a coincidence.."

 

  
The evening of the next day has come, and Kyungsoo ended up listening to Baekhyun and his fans, requesting to sue Chanyeol and his company for plagiarism over his story's plot.

The request has been approved, and in a week he will be heading to seoul's court to begin the process of settling this mess.

On the social media the story had already become pretty big.

The public is confused about the music video, while showing D.O a lot of support and love.

Kyungsoo's fan count has doubled itself through a single night, and he even had to release a statement on D.O's page explaining he will be going to court to find a proper legal solution for the issue.

Kyungsoo was yet again extremely thankful to Baekhyun for being the lawyer for the case. Since he will have to continue keeping his identity hidden, Kyungsoo himself would be representing D.O's statement without having to bring 'her' around.

This format was approved by the court as valid, and with all of the needed files and information, the two were preparing for the court hearing.

  
\--

  
"You've got the files?"

"Yes."

"Laptop?"

"Here."

"Prints?"

"All with the files. We made two copies of each, remember?"

Baekhyun hums in return, his brows furrowed together as he walks restlessly from side to side in Kyungsoo's apartment.  
Wearing a fancy suit, even his hair is styled formally, gelled down to his scalp without a single poking strand.

Kyungsoo on the other hand doesn't even own a proper tux, and due to the fact Baekhyun's limbs are too long for him to be able to borrow any, he settled with a simple casual attire that recieves it's seriousness thanks to the buttoned up shirt.

"Why are you so stressed anyway? It's way more stressful for me.. I literally have to fake my own identity as a writer for this to happen."

Kyungsoo groans and pushes the frame of his glasses into better position once he finally buttoned the top one of his never worn shirt.

"Listen, I've been through some cases before, but never one that had recieved such an uproar. So much exposure in the media.. My promotion depends on this."

Baekhyun's hands shook Kyungsoo's shoulders as he spoke. Kyungsoo could see a bit of a sweaty shimmer on the top of Baekhyun's forehead.

"Alright. Alright. Let's just go already."

Swatting Baekhyun's hands away was easy, the ride to the court's parking lot was not.

Baekhyun mumbled and repeated laws or rules or whatever Kyungsoo couldn't understand under his breath the entire time, thankfully his hands didn't leave the stirring wheel in the process.

 

  
An especially clammy early noon greeted them when they finally made it out of the car. A humid heat that immediately produced some sweaty sparkles on top of Baekhyun's forehead.  
Maybe he has to, but wearing such a thick suit really doesn't sound like fun right now.

By the time Kyungsoo turned his eyes to the hearing house the two already began getting swarmed by eager journalists and photographers.

With a frown Kyungsoo lowered his head, ignoring all sorts of questions being thrown at him from the crowd that's thirsty for any bit of information about the mysterious D.O that's going against Park Chanyeol himself.

They made it inside with little to no harm, only a slightly frazzled lock of hair that didn't even seem to be out of place.

The airconditioned building was pleasant, and without trouble Baekhyun led Kyungsoo towards the main hall where the event will take place.

"Baekhyun, how much longer do we have?"

"About ten minutes, why?"

"I'll be right back. Toilet."

Kyungsoo waved his hand dismissively towards his partner, turning around and down the hallway while staring down at his own label necklace that he recieved at the enterance.

'Do Kyungsoo. Personal representative of D.O' is written on it in small letters along with the symbol of the korean court.

 

  
After a turn to the left where the toilets are located that took him about four whole minutes to find, he bumped into what felt like another wall he wasn't aware of.

A soft wall, a wall that holds onto the sides of his shoulders with big warm palms until he opens his squinted eyes again.

Right after the bump he realized the thing he just hit was not a wall.. But rather a human wall. A tower even. Raising his eyes upwards from the ground gave him the chance to examine the person standing in front of him briefly before reaching the face.

At that point he wished he hadn't reached the face. Not now, not ever.

While his thoughts were busy trying to form a proper apology sentence to the kind person that held him in place and prevented him from falling to the floor, he was sure he saw the sun itself.

Wide eyes, furrowed brows in worry, lips slightly parted, hovering over him and grabbing him by the shoulders was none other than Park Chanyeol.

Time slowed down so much that for Kyungsoo it felt like a whole year had passed before the shift in Chanyeol's lips became visible.

The corners of his perfectly shaped lips slowly paved upwards on his face, deepening the depth of his now noticeable dimple.

This is the end, for sure. Kyungsoo is going to cancel the case right now, this is impossible.

 

  
"Hey, you okay?"

Chanyeol's familiar yet so new deep voice finally reached his ears, he was sure he will never be able to hear again from how loud his own heart thumps right at the center of his head.

There was silence for a while, Kyungsoo parted his mouth, trying to let out the voice that refuses to be released from his throat.

So lame. He is making such a fool of himself right now, this is ridiculous.

The man standing in front of him, wearing a casual yet utterly fancy attire, a golden watch on his wrist and hair brushed back thanks to sunglasses resting on his head, was Chanyeol.

THE Chanyeol. Chanyeol of his dreams, Chanyeol of his wet dreams, Chanyeol of his late nights and cold dawns in front of his screen, Chanyeol of the winter songs that got him through the storm, Chanyeol of the day dreams he bases his entire life on.

"Sorry."

Kyungsoo was finally able to croak out unattractively. He really is going to pass out.

Especially after the laughter it dug out of Chanyeol's deep wide chest, even the laughter wrinkles on the sides of his eyes are impossibly luring.

 

  
Kyungsoo felt Chanyeol's big hands slide down his arms until they were no more. And he made a mental note in his mind to never wash this shirt again.

Who knew a cheap shirt he got in a packet from his mother two years ago will become his most prized posession.

This must be hilarious from Chanyeol's point of view. Bumping into a short circular figure with big eyes and bigger glasses, small frame and slightly messy hair that is unable to let out a sound other than a weird crank of an apology.

He was sure this would be over, Chanyeol would simply walk past him now and never speak to him again, he wouldn't even remember that Kyungsoo exists. He doesn't even know his name...

That is, until Chanyeol's eyes (that Kyungsoo keeps close track of with his own) lowered down to the small plastic plank attached to his tag necklace.

His long finger lightly raising it upwards for an easy read.

"AH!!"

Kyungsoo lost a year of his life from the surprise of Chanyeol's sudden shout.

"You're D.O!! I mean-- you're going to represent her in the court?"

His expression seemed rather pleased and even excited, which is odd, considering they are technically.. 'enemies'.

Kyungsoo definitely lost at least seven more years of his life at the beginning of the sentence, thinking he might as well just end his life right there for being exposed like that.  
A shaky breath barely left his lungs by the end.

"Yes. I-- uh... I'm her cousin... She asked me to."

Lies. Kyungsoo is terrible. He's a good actor, but his heart isn't good at handling lies.

 

  
That's the story Baekhyun and him settled on.

Do Kyungsoo is simply D.O's cousin, which would be a good reason for him to know about 'her'. To know why the chosen name is D.O. Why she writes about Chanyeol.. Why she loves him so much.

Standing like this in front of the person that literally controls his entire life is terrifying.

It feels scary, makes him vulnerable, weak.. There's a high chance Chanyeol can hear his heart beat from how strong it shakes his body with each pump.

"Perfect! Actually.."

Chanyeol's eyes landed on the card again.

"Kyungsoo, you will be talking with her right after this ends right? Can you.. please tell her a few things from me?"

How dare he, hunch down like this, curving his shoulders inwards to appear smaller and less threatening in front of short small Kyungsoo like this? What kind of soft consideration is this?

"Sure, yes, I will."

Chanyeol suddenly breaks out in a relieved smile, sighing and rubbing a hand through the flawless hair tucked behind the sunglasses.

His eyes close when he thinks, and shortly after he locks his gaze directly with Kyungsoo's.  
Kyungsoo wonders just how red he must be at this moment, but not only do his ears feel like they're on fire, his cheeks are also burning.

 

  
"To be honest, I'm really nervous because.. Uh.. I actually am a fan of hers."

Chanyeol admits with a side smile and shyness. Kyungsoo is taken aback into a state of shock mixed with seriousness.

"Please tell her that I love the way she writes. She makes me seem really cool and all, haha. I don't know if you read any of her works.. She's really good. Uhm-- She should know that I really did use her latest work for the music video.. I nearly cried when I reached the ending and knew it fits perfectly with my song."

He continued on, and Kyungsoo's whole world is shattering beneath his feet.

"Anyway, my company and I will pay for all the compensation, anything the court decides. There is one more thing I want her to know. It's clear that she wants to stay anonymous.. But I spoke with my manager, and I want to hire her."

Kyungsoo's losing a grip with reality at this point. This is trully way too much for his heart to handle.

"We wanted to send her an official message, but since luck brought you to me, can I ask for her number?"

Chanyeol looked at him with such hopeful bright eyes that even satan himself wouldn't be able to say no.

 

  
So to conclude.. Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol, is a fan of him. Well not him, his works.. and not him, because he's a fan of D.O. The D.O who is apparently his cousin since morning.

Not only does Chanyeol know of his existence.. He likes what he does. That's more than one can take in a day. To top it all, Chanyeol wants to hire D.O?

Kyungsoo needed nothing but to nod, and Chanyeol's large hands already grabbed his own small palms and gave him his cellphone.

Staring down at it, Kyungsoo couldn't believe that he is able to touch it with his own bare hands. This treasure of a phone.

Since when is he so emotional?

Kyungsoo could see the little tiny cracks at the corner of the screen, the case was a beautiful print of a rainy view with Chanyeol's own initials.

He tapped the number in.. D.O's number.. His own private cellphone number, since he is, after all, D.O. And Handed it back to the beautiful soft giant standing in front of him.

 

  
"Hey, if she wants to still be anonymous I can hire the both of you. Maybe you'll be her representative at work as well. Directing according to her choices and instructions. That'll be fun, you seem like a cool guy."

Chanyeol beamed while staring at his brand new important contact added to his phone, and slid the machine into the pocket of his jeans.

Kyungsoo? A cool guy? Maybe Chanyeol isn't as smart as Kyungsoo initially thought he was.

Nothing about Kyungsoo can be considered remotely cool.

Except his heart, maybe, his cold unwavering heart at the entire world except for Chanyeol himself.

His imaginary cousin would have been so jealous of him for the handshake Chanyeol gave him before smiling and leaving towards the hall.

When Kyungsoo looked at his own phone's clock he realized this whole interaction took maybe three minutes in total, even though he felt like he's nearing his deathbed.

It's gross, it really is, but Kyungsoo didn't wash his hand after the toilet. Chanyeol himself shook it after all.

 

  
The hearing was over, the court was puzzled and a little surprised by how quickly Chanyeol simply admitted to his doings, sending Kyungsoo a tiny smiling glance of affirmation when the judges determined the case was closed with a small compensation of some money due to agreement of both sides.

Baekhyun was glowing all the way back to Kyungsoo's home, humming and tapping his fingers on the wheel with the beat of the slightly too loud music blasting in the car.

But Kyungsoo didn't mind it so much, because he barely heard any of it through his own heart deafening him when the first message from Chanyeol arrived.

  
[ Unknown number: Hey, D.O! Kyungsoo gave me your number today at the court. It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Park Chanyeol. ]

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

  
The days following the court hearing have been hectic.

Well, not really. Kyungsoo was still sitting at the corner of his couch, two layers of blankets protect him from the cold air flowing through his little apartment.

He hasn't turned on his television in months really, but from the morning after the case closed and until now, several days later, news channels just wouldn't stop mentioning it.

He heard the story so many times, in so many voices through so many stations already. The same words every single time. Just like right now.

"Rising star Park Chanyeol proudly admits to plagiarizing a story of a fiction writer on the internet named D.O."

The news anchor's voice is as serious and nonchalant as ever. Only Kyungsoo's heart keeps eccelerating at every word.

The view plays again, a video that was taken by one of the news channel's reporters right outside the court.

 

  
Chanyeol is standing there with a wide confident grin that is clearly honest as seen through the sunglasses he lowered over his eyes when he exits.

He walks fast, long steps with long legs, and then the reporters begin asking questions from all around him.

His guard tried to pave him a way but Chanyeol doesn't seem too distressed.

A moment later Kyungsoo knows what happens, and his heart skips a beat just like every time this video plays.

Chanyeol turns to look directly at the camera with a smile.

"D.O's story was great everyone, please give it a lot of love. Just like all the readers, I was affected by it and decided it'd work in the music video. D.O, if you're watching this, I hope I did it justice."

He then bows to the cameraman before the footage cuts back to the news studio and onto a different subject.

 

  
Kyungsoo remembers exiting the court moments after this happened, and he remembers seeing Chanyeol enter his big black van and drive away.

None of the reporters paid any attention to Baekhyun and him.

Kyungsoo was shaken enough from the experience of meeting Chanyeol in person, and hearing his own name being said in his voice, that dealing with pushing through some thirsty paparazzis wouldn't be easy.

Along with Chanyeol's admition to the case, his company released a formal announcement on the website, reassuring fans everything has been settled in a legal proper way and that no harm has been done.

Kyungsoo himself released a new post on D.O's website saying the same thing, and luck was really shining onto them because the fans showered both Chanyeol and D.O with love.

 

  
It was odd for Kyungsoo to see how much support he was recieving, being part of different fan groups of Chanyeol, he knew it was common for the fans to say pretty harsh things regarding any female that comes close to him.

Last time Chanyeol merely sat next to a member of a girl group in an award ceremony, and the fans have bashed her down to the dirt behind private chats.

Nothing negative have been posted publicly about her, but the group's sales and popularity began reclining drastically afterwards. He knew how terrible the consequences might have been for him.

Which is why he was really surprised when in the very same group chats that bashed anyone else, only affection and support were exchanged regarding D.O's issue.

Apparently the fans appreciated the fact that D.O remained anonymous. They even thought that Chanyeol's message to D.O was adorable.

And clearly... It excited the whole fandom to know Chanyeol reads fanfictions about himself.  
Let alone D.O's naughty pieces.

 

  
"Kyungsoooo~"

Baekhyun called loudly and way too happily when he hopped his steps into Kyungsoo's apartment, no knocks this time.

Kyungsoo didn't even realize the door got unlocked because he was lost in thoughts and the television's rambling background noise blocked out anything else.

Baekhyun walked quickly, almost running to jump onto the couch right beside Kyungsoo with a wide grin of satisfaction. Kyungsoo knew exactly what that means, and before Baekhyun could take a breath to speak he smiled and raises his hand to pat Baekhyun's gelled back hair gently.

"Congratulations Baekhyunie~"

Kyungsoo hummed in an uncharactaristic melodious tone, and Baekhyun's eyes opened wide and turned damp from the warmth of the greeting.

"Thank youuuu! I knew that'd be it. The case that got me my well deserved promotion!"

Baekhyun was loud, and for once, Kyungsoo didn't mind it one bit.

He was happy because of Baekhyun's happiness. So much that he even nodded and hummed along, attentively listening to his best friend's rambles about his new office while being tucked in a hug Baekhyun still hadn't let go of.

It took a few long minutes and some gentle pokes to the side of Baekhyun's unbuttoned jacket for him to release Kyungsoo from the hug with a harmonious laughter of them both.

 

  
"Please tell me you replied to Chanyeol by now."

Baekhyun finally broke away from the subject of his office mate Minseok that drinks too much coffee for his own health.

Kyungsoo managed to forget about the Chanyeol subject for the duration of their conversation, and it was so peaceful that once his mind flashed the image of Chanyeol's smile right in front of his eyes, he felt like he was just stabbed with a damn spoon right to the stomach.

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at the choked reaction, but it didn't stop him from poking Kyungsoo's cheek with his finger.

 

  
"I did.. A few times. Baekhyunie... I think I'm going to die..."

Kyungsoo wasn't sure if the stress building from within is causing him to flush red from the blood flowing too fast in his veins, or if it's causing him to pale horribly.

Either way Baekhyun's massive fit of laughter didn't help one bit.

"Let me see! Did you accept the job?"

"I did....."

Kyungsoo barely whispered while his body started slumping down further into his loved corner of the couch. His face burried by the blankets up until the nose, and his eyes looking at the television screen but not registering any of the colors he's seeing.

Baekhyun clicked his tongue with a shake of the head and grabbed the phone from Kyungsoo's other side, easily getting through the password protection.

 

  
"YO!!!"

Baekhyun suddenly shouts and then makes whistle noises and a few more 'waah's before smacking his palm on top of Kyungsoo's blanket shell.

"From 'Shit it's really him': Hey, D.O! Kyungsoo gave me your number today at the court. It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Park Chanyeol."

Baekhyun began reading in the deepest voice he could, trying to imitate Chanyeol's and failing miserably.

Only causing Kyungsoo to either redden or lose some more color.

"Hello Chanyeol, Kyungsoo told me you liked my stories. Thank you."

This time Baekhyun read it in an extra annoying nasal female voice that made Kyungsoo land a punch to the side of Baekhyun's arm, making him shout and laugh. He continued.

 

  
[ Shit it's really him: I love your stories. You're an incredible writer and creator. You inspire me! D.O, I have a proposal for you. ]

\-- [ Sent: Wow, I didn't know we were at this stage already, Chanyeol, you haven't even met my parents yet.. ]

 

  
Baekhyun's eyes widened along with his smirk and he kept shouting some more 'aaah's and 'whoaaaa's after reading the messages out loud.

Really, Kyungsoo would seriously slap him right now if he wasn't in a state of mental shock with a topping of great embarrassment.

It's not that Baekhyun reading the messages makes Kyungsoo feel like he's dying, but the fact that these are real. These are true exchanges he had with the real Park Chanyeol.   
Baekhyun continues.

 

  
[ Shit it's really him: -Monkey covering his eyes emoji sent three times- ]

[ Shit it's really him: You're amazing. Maybe one day I'll have the honor. ]

[ Shit it's really him: D.O, will you work for me? Will you become my director? ]

\-- [ Sent: I don't think I can.. Being anonymous and all. ]

[ Shit it's really him: Right... Hmm. ]

[ Shit it's really him: D.O, I spoke with my manager. He said that just like in the court, Kyungsoo could take your place as a representative. Do you think he will be up for it? We will pay both of you, of course. ]

\-- [ Sent: He said he agrees, he doesn't have a job anyway. ]

[ Shit it's really him: Great! Tell him to come to this address on monday. Pleasure working with you, D.O. ]

\-- [ Sent: Keep me updated. ]

[ Shit it's really him: Of course princess. ]

 

  
Kyungsoo literally, in all sense of realism, wants to die right now.

His entire body sunk underneath his blanket castle and he's pretty sure he's cooking inside this cocoon in the heat of his own trembling body.

"Dude, since when are you so smooth? You got the man hooked around your little finger with only five messages. I'm genuinely impressed."

Baekhyun admitted and Kyungsoo could tell that he really means it beneath his teasing tone of voice.

"Is that why you asked me if I have a spare cellphone I don't use?"

"...Maybe......"

God this is embarrassing. Terrifying too, yet exciting.

Kyungsoo really is going to work with Chanyeol. Putting aside the fact he feels a little bad for recieving double payment and of course, his massive lie of identity.

 

\--

 

It's monday morning and Kyungsoo senses the hours he spent memorizing every detail about Chanyeol in wikipedia last night, or rather, earlier this morning, are going to be a dread.

He slept way too little to be able to function like a proper adult human being today, yet his bagged eyes are still sharp behind the glasses and his hearing ability feels hightened from the internal stress.

Kyungsoo might not enjoy being out and about in the city that much, but even his repel from the situation wouldn't affect his precise personality.

Checking the spare cellphone he recieved from Baekhyun the previous day in his left pocket for the time, he was too early.

In his right pocket rests 'D.O's cellphone. Well, his own original cellphone that is now serving other purposes.

With stable steps and a soft fixation of his glasses Kyungsoo made it right to the front of the company's building. A guard stands behind the fogged out glass door, and a bunch of fans are sat two meter radius away from the empty spot in the parking lot.

Kyungsoo hates this. The heat, the summer, the curious eyes of the girls focusing on his fidgeting way of standing in front of the door.

 

  
The minutes pass.

Standing under the sun even for this short while was enough for Kyungsoo to produce nervous sweat that he keeps wiping the sides of his cheeks with his own fingers.

The door is locked with a code mechanism and a scanner. No card in hand means no entry for Do Kyungsoo.

He starts regretting getting out of his cool cosy apartment as early as he did this morning.

Right before his hand reached down his pocket to pull out a phone he heard a car approaching the building, which is odd considering there was an electric gate to block vehicles from entering the area.

 

  
The car was a big square of loud engine noises and darkened window glasses, yet the closer it approached the empty parking spot located right by the door to enter the building, the more fans jumped up on their feet and took out their phones and cameras. Huh?

It parked and the engine went silent. Kyungsoo stood wondering by the door and watched how the door opens and a big foot followed by a long leg landed on the ground.

It's Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo's heart begins racing and his palms automatically stick together into a tight grip in front of him.

Chanyeol is.. stunning. Standing tall with messy hair, black sunglasses, frayed jeans and a simple grey shirt. A backpack is pulled over his shoulder and the fans are going as wild as Kyungsoo's pulse.

 

  
Chanyeol noticed him standing by the door, and immediately sped up his steps and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Kyungsoo thought the summer was hot, but Chanyeol's wide grin erupted a volcano inside him.

"Kyungsoo! I'm glad you made it. Whoa, your shirt is really hot.. Were you waiting here long?"

The kindness in Chanyeol's raspy morning voice caught Kyungsoo off guard, and he felt a sense of deja vu again when all he could do was croak a nervous 'Good morning' in return.

The giant simply laughed and lead the two of them to the enterance, placing his opened wallet onto the scanner. The door began sliding sideways and Chanyeol's gentle push onto Kyungsoo's back into the building only made Kyungsoo sweat more, and he hates sweating.

 

  
He knew he'd be meeting Chanyeol, but he didn't know Chanyeol would be the one giving him the tour around the building, joking around with every staff member that walks past them and exposing some juicy gossips about the pair of workers that might be dating.

It honestly felt like some mixture between a happy dream and a nightmare.

Kyungsoo will most likely forget most of what Chanyeol had explained, but that's okay. It's his very first day at work, he barely slept last night and he's awfully overwhelmed by Chanyeol's entire existence.

By the time they reach Chanyeol's own studio floor Kyungsoo managed to put himself under a bit more control, and is now really paying every bit of his attention to Chanyeol's words.

Details about his instruments and music creation keep pouring.

Along with falling deeper in love with Chanyeol by the minute, Kyungsoo also feels incredibly inspired. All these things he had imagined Chanyeol would be working with.. All the different personalities he thought Chanyeol might have in person..

They were all nice, but the real thing is better than anything he could possibly imagine.

 

  
At lunch time they exchanged their phone numbers, well, Kyungsoo's secondary phone that is. The spare one he borrowed from Baekhyun.

They didn't talk much, between the bites he took from the exceptionally good food in the building's cafeteria room Kyungsoo just watched Chanyeol glue his entire attention to the big phone that looks so incredibly small in his palms.

A child, is what he looked like. A gigantic child.

Throughout the day Kyungsoo had to remind himself constantly that it is indeed happening in reality.   
Meeting the other directors and people in charge was pretty easy, and before Kyungsoo realized the redness of the sunset's light broke through the windows.

The day was over, it was just to get to know the grounds anyway so he didn't exactly work.

Chanyeol walked him back down to the building's enterance, talking about how excited and thankful he is that Kyungsoo agreed to become the 'official messenger' between himself and D.O.

It's a bitter-sweet sort of feeling again.

 

  
"We haven't prepared a card for you yet.. Looks like I'll have to be your door opener for a while longer."

Chanyeol smiled down at him warmly, his tone sounded like a complaint but there was nothing other than fondness in his expression.

"How heroic of you."

Kyungsoo's lips curled upwards ever so lightly just to let Chanyeol know he is joking, and after the short glance the giant's smile only widened.

"Oh I know. You better tell your cousin good things about me, yes?"

Kyungsoo almost felt happy. Almost.

But these words struck his entire existence back to the shambles in less than a second.

Although outwards he responded with a simple nod, inside he felt himself crumbling.

God.. He hates lying. He can't stand it. He can't stand himself.

He has to call this whole thing off right now.. It's too dangerous.. Too risky and way too damn painful.

"Anyway, I see you don't have a vehicle, need a ride home?"

There he goes. Chanyeol and his heart of gold. Kyungsoo regrets being born.

Averting his eyes to the ground and rubbing the back of his neck he lets out a weak chuckle.

"I can't possibly--"

"No, really, where's your place? I go that way."

Chanyeol interrupted him and raised his entire arm towards the direction he lives in apparently, like a large street sign.

The red of the sunset highlights the brighter shades of Chanyeol's brown dyed hair. Luckily, they actually do live in the same direction.

 

  
Kyungsoo ends up telling Chanyeol his real address.

At first he thought it'd be better to get off somewhere close, but in a moment of thoughtlessness he spilled the exact spot of his building.

Chanyeol clearly didn't notice his internal panic growing bigger, spreading through his limbs and up to the very tips of his fingers and toes during the ride.

Or maybe Chanyeol's talent is greater than Kyungsoo had anticipated and he just acted like he was actually happy to have him around. It's just politeness. It's how Chanyeol is.

After an exchanged wave of goodbye Kyungsoo felt like crying.

In his apartment he just dived into the couch, slumping on it as if his body's made of goo.

While trying to pull his original cellphone out, D.O's phone, it actually buzzed between his fingers. From the surprise he lost the grip and it fell on the carpeted floor.

Picking it up again he saw it was a message from Chanyeol.

 

  
[ Shit it's really him: Got Kyungsoo home safe and sound. Are you proud? ]

 

  
Staring at the illuminated screen of his cellphone in the darkness of his apartment, Kyungsoo wished he could fall asleep and never wake up ever again.

But his heart was thumping.. It's Chanyeol..

Squinting his eyes shut tight Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around the device, cradling it in a shaky hug.

Shit.. It really is him.

He really did just spend the entire day by Chanyeol's side. And he's only a hundred times more in love than he thought he was.

After a long sigh of concealed guilt and frustration he brought the phone back to his fingers.

 

  
\--[ Sent: How heroic of you. ]

[ Shit it's really him: HAHAHA. You two are so much alike! Kyungsoo told me the exact same phrase today. ]

 

  
Oh shit-- Oh god-- He really did say this to Chanyeol only a short while ago.

Kyungsoo bashed the screen of his phone onto his forehead with a grunt.

Pulling the phone back he tapped onto the call app, dialing his first contact. There were about seven rings..

Kyungsoo was about to give up, but right before removing the phone from his ear he heard the line being picked.

 

  
"Sup Kyungsoo?"

"Baekhyun, I'm quitting. I can't do this. Not now, not later, not in a million years. He fuckin-- he drove me home Baekhyun--!! He just.. He insisted--.. Shit--.. He doesn't even know.."

Kyungsoo's voice came out shaky and airy, cranky and almost miserable. His tone was unstable and he spoke quicker than normal too.

Ah.. So this is was true distress feels like.

"Kyungsoo.. I'm finishing up here in a minute. Be right there, okay?"

Baekhyun's voice was so soothing and comforting, the familiarity of him can really save Kyungsoo. The most he could let out in return was a short hum.

 

  
That night Kyungsoo told Baekhyun everything down to the smallest of details while laying his head on the other's lap.

Baekhyun's gentle strokes through his hair and over his entire head were so warm and affectionate, so much that after Baekhyun managed to convince Kyungsoo to continue on with this plan, it took him merely a minute to fall asleep to the touch.

He'd probably be dead by now without Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo had no idea how he got to his bed, tucked in and all, the next morning.

But he was feeling a lot better, and more confident about the whole situation. It's something he has to do to survive.

Or at least that's what Baekhyun told him last night before his eyes felt too heavy.

 

  
\--[ Sent: Thank you for last night Baekhyunie. I feel better. ]

[ BByun: I gotchu babe, you'll do just fine. It's easy! You can just text me if you need to pretend you're talking with D.O too. ]

\--[ Sent: That's actually a good idea. BABE. ]

[ BByun: Hey you'll make Chanyeol jealous, watch it! ]

 

\--

 

It's alright. Things are going well.

Chanyeol doesn't suspect a thing. It doesn't bother him that Kyungsoo spends every unbusied second staring at him.

He doesn't notice how everytime after he texts D.O during the day, Kyungsoo's the one checking it on his own phone.

He doesn't question it when Kyungsoo answers directorial questions without even consulting D.O's opinion.

Kyungsoo has grown into his new job, not abandoning his previous one of course. With an electronic card stuffed in his wallet he comes into the building every morning.

The summer is finally ending and the walk he has to take in order to get to the company's building actually helped his general physical health.

 

  
Fuel runs through his veins everytime he gets back home.

His imagination runs wild always. He's inspired every single day from the interactions with Chanyeol.

It's only been a little over a three months, yet D.O's fanfictions count has risen by a whole ten precent.

Communicating with Chanyeol as two different people feels so wrong and terrible, but at the same time he gets to know two different sides of him.

 

  
Kyungsoo's side, the gentle giant.

A kind caring and loving man who's passion for what he does is astounding.   
A humorous friendly dork who insists to pay for the lunches they share together from time to time, who trusts every word that comes out of Kyungsoo's mouth as if his words were biblical commands, who gives him a ride home almost every day and wraps his long arm around Kyungsoo's short and small shoulder frame while walking through the company's corridors, who already sent Kyungsoo at least twenty pictures of his dog Toben, and some selfies.

 

  
D.O's side, the flirtatious tease.

A loveable playful puppy-like man who wants nothing more than to show his admiration.   
A patient and careful heart hidden behind smirking emojis and a lot of 'Haha's.   
Who's never upset even when D.O doesn't reply to his messages for days, who always asks how D.O's feeling and what D.O's thinking about the progress he thinks is being reported by Kyungsoo, who sometimes sends little voice messages saying good morning or night, who accepts the harsh coldness of D.O's witty sarcasm with a laugh.

 

  
There's always that eerie burdensome feeling on top of Kyungsoo's shoulders.

He's gotten used to it. To the guilt weighting him down for playing Chanyeol out like this. Exploiting him almost.

Sometimes it feels like he's using Chanyeol. It's easy to assume that way.

Not only does he get an endless supply of information to write about as D.O, but he literally gets paid twice as much as he should be getting.

Two people hired, but only one exists. He takes advantage of Chanyeol's kindness and honest good motives for himself, who's head over heels in love with the man and everything about him.

It never disappears, that nagging feeling of wanting to simply expose the truth and recieve whatever punishment he deserves. It never gets any better, it only somehow becomes more.. survivable.

 

  
They've gone to a movie together. Several times actually, just the two of them.

The first one was a psychological thriller that Kyungsoo enjoyed very much. Chanyeol, not so much.

That night he called Kyungsoo at around three in the morning (Of course Kyungsoo was awake, busy writing a wild public sex scene in a movie theatre with Chanyeol) and almost cried when he said he keeps having nightmares about it.

Kyungsoo was a little overwhelmed when it happened. For being caught in the middle of fiery sexual tention, and also because Chanyeol calling him, out of all people, for comfort, meant that their relationship is far more real than Kyungsoo pretended it to be.

 

  
The second time they went to a movie it was a drama film about a little boy searching for his family after being separated from them during a storm.

It was a heart wrenching movie where the two of them kept trying to wipe their stream of tears away constantly. Kyungsoo, being prepared for whatever may happen, shared his tissues with Chanyeol.

When they left the theatre that night they barely spoke, the dreading sadness affected Kyungsoo.

In an unlikely brave move, he called Chanyeol a couple of hours after they parted. They spoke about their families for hours and it seems like even Chanyeol forgot about D.O's existence because neither of them mentioned D.O even once.

 

  
After the third movie they stuffed themselves with so much food they both came to work the next day looking like zombies.

To the fourth movie the went with a bunch more managers and workers, and later even managed to sing a duet in the karaoke room they decided to crash at.

The fifth was terrible, they were the only two people in the whole theatre and being bored from the movie they began playing hide and seek between the seats.

The sixth was a comedy that gave them a few new inside jokes, and the seventh was a documentary drama that made them both upset because a cat had died in it.

 

  
They are closer now. They are actual friends.

Although Chanyeol's attempts to impress D.O with new pick up lines and poetic revalations haven't stopped, only toned and slowed down, Kyungsoo found himself in a tight spot.

 

  
Being invited to hang out at Chanyeol's place was the confirmation Kyungsoo was so thrilled for, yet so afraid of.

The affirmation that Chanyeol has put him on the pedestal and placed him above many others who have come his way.

He accepted right away, without a single thought, and the next thing he knows is that he's standing in front of one of the most luxurious buildings in seoul and ringing the 'Park' labled intercome button.

Only a short moment later he can hear Chanyeol's voice coming from the machine and a buzzer going off to announce the door has been unlocked.

The elevator trip upwards was longer than Kyungsoo had ever experienced, and when he finally stepped outside, relieved to breathe some air that doesn't smell like cleaning products and expensive perfume, he found himself in front of the penthouse's door.

 

  
"Kyungsooooo! I'm glad you could make it. Nobody bothered you for entering right?"

Chanyeol greeted him with a tight warm hug, and then rested backwards to create a bit of a space between them with his hands holding Kyungsoo by his shoulders.

How... How dare he.. care this much about Kyungsoo's well being.. while he's lying right up to his face.

Kyungsoo wants to scream.

Chanyeol is genuinely concerned about Kyungsoo having to deal with reporters or paparazzi.  
This is so unfair. He is the worst. He is worse than the worst.

"Yeah, no. Nobody even noticed me."

He followed after Chanyeol who somehow managed to elegantly pull off Kyungsoo's autumn coat and hang it in the hallway on their way to the living room.

 

  
Wide walls made of glass windows are the only separation between them and the who knows how many meters long fall down to the street.

This place is way too bright. There aren't any curtains to cover the sunlight shining right into Kyungsoo's eyes.

It's not like any neighbours can peek inside or anything, since this penthouse stands tall above seoul. Right in the middle. Right where the view from every direction is breathtaking and inspiring.

Kyungsoo has probably never been this high above the ground in his life.

There are stairs leading up to a second smaller floor where Kyungsoo assumes is Chanyeol's bedroom and actual living space. Since the floor they're at now contains only a living room, a kitchen unit and two other small rooms that create the little corridor they went through at the apartment's enterance.

 

  
The design is very modern yet very homey and warm. Brown tones of wood and patterned wallpapers give this place a welcoming vibe despite being as luxurious as it is.

If Kyungsoo was to ever bring a guest over he'd make sure every spec of dust is gone before allowing anyone to step inside. Except for Baekhyun of course, who doesn't count a guest since it's basically his second home.

But unlike Kyungsoo's proclaimed better judgement, Chanyeol's apartment isn't cold. It isn't clean to the point of sparkling shelves and reflecting floor tiles.

When he sits down on the couch he sees a few pieces of clothing tangled at the edge, along with some dog toys and cables. He sees some dog hairs and folded magazines on the armchair near the lamp, and what looks like a train rail peeking from behind the big television screen.

He wished he could just clean everything up himself, but something about this is just so... Chanyeol.   
It surprises Kyungsoo how sentimental he's suddenly getting when he thinks about this.

 

  
"I hope you don't mind the mess, I figured it's pointless to try and clean if a good friend's coming. You already know me well enough.. No judgement, right?"

Chanyeol calls behind him, stepping close and placing two mugs of hot chocolate on the coffee table in front of them, before letting his long body fall onto the couch next to Kyungsoo with a grin.

"Oh don't you worry, I'll let dispatch know you live in a pigpen, expect to see yourself on the news tomorrow."

Kyungsoo nods his head knowingly. When the roam of laughter fills his ears he turns to the man of his dreams and chuckles while repositioning his glasses.

"Seriously, D.O and you are so similar sometimes with these comments."

"You mentioned it already."

Kyungsoo sighs internally.

"What?"

"That we're similar, D.O and I."

"I only told it to D.O."

Shit. Kyungsoo flinches unnoticeably and quickly turns his head to Chanyeol with the best smile he can produce under the sudden stress.

"Yeah, she told me."

There's silence for about three whole seconds, but it feels like forever. It feels like Chanyeol had finally caught up to his scheme and now he will be shoved out of his dream's life and into hell.

"Aaah~ That makes sense."

Chanyeol grins, and Kyungsoo can finally breathe again, even though he can tell there's something else behind Chanyeol's smile. Maybe he lost a little bit of trust in D.O.. Or in Kyungsoo himself.

Kyungsoo trapped Chanyeol in a dangerous game that can't be won.

 

  
They talk about their work. The new project that's coming up. The new variety show Chanyeol will be guesting on.   
At some point Kyungsoo can hear little noises of tapping in the apartment, realizing the source is Toben jumping down the stairs and walking right to Kyungsoo's spot on the couch.

Chanyeol coos at him like a parent of a small infant and Kyungsoo can't help but laugh when his fingers are recieving affectionate licks from the black ball of fluffy fur.

For the rest of their conversation about the upcoming autumn award shows Chanyeol will have to perform in although they aren't in his favour, Toben joins them, curled between them with Kyungsoo's palm repeatedly stroking his head and body.

 

  
"So yeah.. This season is gonna be a mess.. At least the halloween party should be fun this year. I heard they wanted everyone to participate so it'll help bonding the workers or something.."

Chanyeol then grabs another half of a cookie that he brought out for them to snack on while chatting. There's calm autumny music playing in the background through Chanyeol's high quality surround system of speakers in the living room.

"You think D.O would come if I invite her? Since she is a worker and all."

"No clue, really."

Kyungsoo shrugs in return and switches the way his legs are tangled up on the couch so that his blood flow wouldn't skip any spots.

D.O... That damned D.O. Damn himself.

Kyungsoo felt so much at home, at ease, that he yet again managed to forget about D.O's existence for the duration of their conversation. It's getting late, and D.O being brought up is a good sign for Kyungsoo to start packing his shattered feelings up and leave.

 

  
"Thank you for coming Kyungsoo, honestly I was a little stressed lately. Having you here was a good wind down. I appreciate it."

Kyungsoo's held between Chanyeol's hugging arms and something in him hopes he'll cease to exist right there and then so that his last living memory would be the feeling of Chanyeol's warmth and scent wrapped around him.

"Hey, anytime. Toben was worth it."

"What about me?"

"Not so much."

Kyungsoo smiles sneakily and Chanyeol falls into another short fit of laughter, landing a gentle stroke to the back of Kyungsoo's head absentmindedly before leaning against the doorframe and watching Kyungsoo enter the elevator.

"I'll see you tomorrow, stay warm."

"Yeah. Handsome."

Are the last words Kyungsoo manages to squeeze in before the automatic elevator doors shut and separate them. Chanyeol probably didn't hear it, but this was a close call.   
Only D.O calls Chanyeol 'Handsome'.

 

  
This is stupid.. Definitely illegal, and most certainly painful.

Kyungsoo's lungs release the pressured air out in a deep sigh and he lets his body fall sideways and nudge against the elevator's wall. His head creating a small bump noise when hit with the wall as well.

He looks at himself in the mirror. Disoriented eyes, sadness spilling out from every patch of expression on his face. He hates this.

Kyungsoo hates D.O.

Kyungsoo also hates Kyungsoo.

   
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

 

  
When at work he occasionally forgets that he is undercover. More and more frequently the closer he gets to Chanyeol.

He caught himself several times nearly saying things out loud. Things that only D.O would know of. He already messed up more than a few times and it's getting dangerous.

Sometimes during the weekends he almost feels jealous. Jealous of D.O for getting to recieve all these flirty messages from him.

Jealous of Kyungsoo for getting all these genguine conversations about different subjects through texts and calls. Which is absurd, really.

Kyungsoo is jealous of... himself.

It nearly drives him crazy by the end of october when Chanyeol decided to invite Kyungsoo and not even try to invite D.O to the company's halloween party he already considered not attending.

 

  
"Kyungsoo, pal, buddy, friend, brother, you need to calm your shit."

Baekhyun commands him quite harshly, with that knowing voice of his, sitting on his couch in the living room while Kyungsoo walks restlessly from side to side near the kitchen.

"I seriously, really, trully, can't do this anymore Baekhyun. I'm going insane here!"

Kyungsoo smacks his palms over his face and begins rubbing all over, agitated, leaving the area with a messy hair and tilted glasses.

"I'm trying to one up against my own damn self and it's making me lose my mind. God.. I deserve to go to hell."

Kyungsoo's eyes were glued to the ground, devastated, but he heard Baekhyun's feet moving across the floor until two arms wrapped him into an embrace that can't be describe as anything other than Baekhyun.

 

  
"It must be terrible.. I know.. But please. You have to calm down, you're really worrying me."

Kyungsoo allowed his head to soothe on top of Baekhyun's shoulder and he let out a long held breath slide out of the depths of his chest.

He doesn't know how many times he thought the same thing from the moment he met Baekhyun for the first time, but he trully would be dead without him.

"What does it even mean.. Why would he invite me and not D.O..? I mean-- it's still me but-- ugh..."

"I understand you're stressed out of your guts, but you're honestly so lucky. Kyungsoo, you are Chanyeol's friend. Friend! Actual friend! He knows you, he cares for you."

Baekhyun began, his solid stable comforting hug started shifting into a weird ramble of limbs that aren't sure if to let go or not from his excitement.

"Plus, think about it logically, he knows D.O wants to keep her identity hidden.. So it makes more sense he'll invite the closest thing to her replacemen--"

 

  
There was a pause of silence for merely a moment. But Baekhyun's words that he clearly came to regret the moment they exit his mouth already echoed in Kyungsoo's mind.

It isn't wrong. Kyungsoo really is just in a twisted way, D.O's replacement to Chanyeol. Probably.

 

  
"Hey, it's not what I meant okay? Don't make this face.."

Baekhyun protested with a saddened yet nervous pout and cupped Kyungsoo's face with his palms, trying to stretch the corners of his mouth into a smile with his thumbs.

"It's really not like you to be this way.. Fake smiles are ugly. You knew the risk of agreeing to connect with him.. Just take advantage of it while you are still able to. When will you ever have a chance to hang out with Chanyeol like this?"

"It's just so wrong to lie this way.."

"I know, I know. But you're doing well so far. He doesn't have an idea about this. You have to pull through my friend."

Kyungsoo knows that Baekhyun means no harm, but right now there was a degree of hope in him that wanted Baekhyun to force him to confess about it all.

Like Baekhyun always manages to make him do whatever he wants in one way or another.

He wants to trust Baekhyun's advice, really, but how can he trust it when he doesn't even have faith in himself?

 

  
The weekend is here, and so comes the awaited halloween party.

Kyungsoo has no idea what to expect. He's the last person on earth to be seen spending any sort of spare time in anything that resembles a party.

After the long prep talk with Baekhyun he learned that there would definitely be alcohol, pumpkins too, maybe?

In the initial invitation to the party that was mailed to the entire working force of the company there were no mentions of costumes or anything alike, but Baekhyun forced him to get something to wear. Anything.

He settled with a pair of cheap red horns hairband, and silly glasses with the print of swirly eyes on the lenses. Outfit? All black of course. It'll do. He plans to show up only for the sake of not disappointing Chanyeol.

 

  
The party itself was to take place in the company's building, inside one of the dancing studios that are located on the lower floors than the ones Kyungsoo got to explore.

If Baekhyun hadn't been busy visiting his family in Wonmi-gu, there's a high chance Kyungsoo would have gone to his apartment and camped there for the entire duration of the so called holiday.

Technically, he still can. He has Baekhyun's key. But what's the point being in his messy place if not to scowl at him for the very fact that it's messy.

Plus, again, he's far more terrified of making Chanyeol sad than his own mental safety.

 

  
Standing in front of a mirror, Kyungsoo gave himself one last glance. Looking festive enough, according to his standards at least. Maybe there's time for a short stress call with Baekhyun.

Just as he began pulling his personal cellphone out of the pocket, his other secondary cellphone buzzed.

 

  
[ The Park dude: I'm under your place, hop along! -Winking emoji- ]

\-- [ Sent: Coming. ]

 

  
When Kyungsoo entered the car and settled in the seat by the driver he gave Chanyeol a glance. Dressed in a pretty subtle outfit that looks like some sort of a cowboy attempt.

It wasn't long before it revealed to be the truth. When they arrived to the building Chanyeol stuck a fake curled mustache above his lips and fixed a big black western hat on his tightly gelled hair.

Chanyeol's experimental 'YEEHAW' shout when they entered the studio was basically ignored by everyone except that one manager who rolled his eyes and shook his head.

How can he judge Chanyeol's outfit when the man himself wears a weird chicken bodysuit?

Baekhyun was right, it seems, because as Chanyeol pulled Kyungsoo through the crowd and towards the temporary installed bar at the corner of the large studio everyone were dressed up in one way or another.

 

  
The music was playing loudly, and from his standing spot by the wall a few steps away from the bar he watched the workers mingle with each other. Laughing, complimenting each other's costumes with obvious friendly sarcasm.

Many girls wearing revealing outfits he'd rather erase from his mind.. Or maybe he should examine them for a while more, that one secretary with the nurse outfit starts to spark some weird roleplaying fantasy inspiration in his D.O's side of the brain.

Chanyeol at some point managed to disappear in the dancing crowd. But even through the constantly flickering lights Kyungsoo could easily spot him. A mountain's peak surrounded by the human mass that dances around him.

He can't tell if the giant is dancing or not, but it seems he's having fun at least chatting with a random makeup artist wearing a long white dress and thick black boots.

 

  
This is boring.

Kyungsoo has practically become one with the wall he's leaning against, sipping on a constantly refilled glass of some sort of low precentage alcoholic fruity juice that the bartender in charge seemed to choose for him when he first arrived with Chanyeol.

Being in a place like this makes it easy to lose the concept of time and space. It's his first party ever, but it really is just how he imagined it to be. Not as exciting as movies, but not as boring as a reading club.

Though the latter option is tempting right now.

From time to time an occasional worker would come to his spot near the bar and start some small talk. Every time it happened Kyungsoo felt a tiny sense of accomplishment.

Ah, so he's not entirely devoid of social abilities. Or maybe the fact they all leave after a short span of time means just the opposite. Not that it matters.

 

  
Kyungsoo knows a while had passed, because from his position he was able to see how much more drunk people are becoming, and couples of workers slowly tipping out of the studio to find a more.. private, location to 'mingle' more thoroughly.

That would make a great au in a future fic actually. Maybe he should add it to the list of notes he keeps his ideas on.

His head was spinning, but only very lightly, so while sliding his hand into the pocket he placed the glass down on the bar and took back to his previous spot drinkless.

The phone he managed to salvage from the depths of his black pocket was his private one. D.O's phone. The phone that holds the list. Phew. A few taps here and there and the idea was written and saved in a secure drafts archive.

 

  
"I think there's something wrong with my eyes.."

Chanyeol's voice startles Kyungsoo and after a tiny jump he shoves the phone down his pocket and rotates his head to the giant leaning against the wall next to him and staring down right at him.

Huh? The way Chanyeol said it sounds extremely suspicious, is there a possbility he actually recognized that the phone that was just in Kyungsoo's hand isn't the one Chanyeol's used to seeing?

Kyungsoo felt his heart pressing against the insides of his ribcage.

"What happened?"

"I can't take them off of you."

Now Kyungsoo's heart fell down right to the very bottom of his feet.

What does Chanyeol think he's saying with that smug smile of his and alcohol glazed eyes?

Kyungsoo composed quickly and brought out his inner D.O's savage for a proper attack in return.

"I think mine are having some trouble too, I can't see you succeeding with such a cheesy pick up line."

Chanyeol's eyes widened and he clicked his fingers with an impressed sort of laughter before raising his arm higher against the wall and leaning slightly closer to Kyungsoo's personal space.

 

  
"Do you happen to have a map?"

"Hmm?"

"Because every path I take leads me to you."

Kyungsoo's eyes squint lightly behind the spiral glasses that thanks to the power of science, he can see through even with the print.

Chanyeol's making him nervous. Nervous and confused. What is this all about..?

"No map here, better search someplace else or get lost."

Chanyeol seems to be impressed yet again, and after tilting his head and sharpening his glossy eyes down on Kyungsoo he leaned even further down.

"If you were a McDonald's burger..."

"Yeah?"

"You'd be McGorgeous."

Seriously, what the hell is he thinking? What's his motive? There's no way he actually means to use any sort of pick up line on Kyungsoo himself, right?

Regardless of Kyungsoo's harsh logical process of thoughts, his heart chose to cling to the hope something is really happening, and suddenly he kind of regrets not holding anything in his hands, because they are hanging awkwardly by the sides of his body.

Frozen from how impossibly close Chanyeol's face is to his own right now.

"Thanks, Ronald, but I'm not into clowns."

 

  
Chanyeol's eyes squint at Kyungsoo now. He looks sharply at him and exhales out of his nose before clicking his tongue and massaging the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

Is he.. angry? Frustrated? What is going on?

Kyungsoo is now bothered from the sudden seriousness, and from how crooked Chanyeol's fake mustache is stuck above his lips.

"Damnit Kyungsoo, none of these would work.."

"What are you talking about?"

"On D.O. Damn. Since you two are so much alike I thought I'd try them on you.. But it seems I'll just be bullied by her again if I even attempt them on her."

Chanyeol lets out a helpless sigh and rubs his eyes, a small drunk smile slowly forming on his lips.

Ah.

So that's what it was.

There aren't any words that can describe just how much his chest is aching right now.

 

  
"Chanyeol.. Uhm. Your mustache is messed up."

Kyungsoo's brain switched to auto pilot, and after his fingers gently pulled the mustache into its proper position, accidentally brushing one of his finger tips over Chanyeol's lips, he slid his hand into the phones' pocket and stepped backwards, averting his eyes towards the exit.

"I'll uh.. be going now. Thank you for inviting me. Don't drink and drive."

And he's out.

Out of the place, and out of his mind.

 

\--

 

Kyungsoo walked home. His right hand holding his personal phone in a tight grip, debating whether he should call Baekhyun or not, while his left hand is clenched into a shaky fist. Alcohol drifting through his blood stream and he knows his steps probably aren't so stable.

He must look crazy, with his swirly glasses and cheap red horns wobbling through the streets.

Once the door was locked behind him he felt an awful lot lonely.

Being alone never really bothered him before. He's a very self sufficient person that can keep himself occupied without any attention requirements.

But right now.. Right now he really wanted to get on his laptop and delete D.O's existence from the face of the earth.  
Was it the alcohol taking over him? Or his own repressed anger? It doesn't even matter.

 

  
Diving into his familiar couch corner was somewhat relieving. The comfort of routines and habits is something Kyungsoo always cherished and tried to stick to.

Under a pile of who knows how many blankets, he planned to shut his brain off and sleep for as long as he physically can. But his secondary phone's buzz won over his curiousity.

It was a message from Chanyeol. Tapping on the screen that made Kyungsoo feel like he's going blind due to the brightness; revealed it was a picture.

A slightly blurry selfie of Chanyeol. His face is too close to the camera and most of what can be viewed is Chanyeol's weird face angle from above.

Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow and planned to rest it aside, but another buzz startled his exhausted body. It's another selfie, more blurry, and of some part of Chanyeol's neck.

Kyungsoo can tell the fake mustache is crooked again and just for a moment he thinks he wants to go back to fix it. Not worth it at this point.

 

  
With a sigh he felt how the buzzing continues in his palm, picture followed by another, and another, and he understands these are being sent unintentionally.

So bothersome.

It's almost like Chanyeol is haunting him for real. Not only in his own guilt tripped mind that spun out of control after the incident at the party.

He grumps his expression for nobody to see and puts the cell on busy mode. No buzzing can be felt in his palm anymore even though the pictures keep steaming in.

After finally placing both of the cells on the coffee table Kyungsoo pulled off the glasses and horns and set himself on the busy mode of deep sleep.

 

  
Kyungsoo hasn't set a foot off the couch for the entire weekend. Aside from dragging himself to the toilet twice a day. Not even the high quality leftovers he had from Baekhyun's last visit to his place could make him move at this point.

He was stuck in a loop. In the conflict, the war he has inside him.

Kyungsoo vs. D.O.

Whenever a message from Chanyeol arrives on either of his phones he feels giddy but upset at the same time. This kind of envy over his own damn self can't be healthy. Not to his body and definitely not to his mind.

 

  
On sunday evening Kyungsoo decided to follow up on Baekhyun's advice on his last breakdown.  
He should feel lucky and thankful, not like his world is about to collapse at any moment, even if it really can happen.

When he finally unmuted his cellphones he was a little overwhelmed by the amount of attention Chanyeol has showered him with.

 

  
Checking his secondary phone, Kyungsoo's phone first, he scrolled through the endless flow of messages from the party night.

Being sent these pictures by Chanyeol himself in such an accidental manner makes him feel even more like a stalker than he already knew he was. It was like watching a stop motion movie with one frame per few seconds each time.

Most of them were just a long string of blurry shoes walking around pictures. At the end of it all the texts have finally returned.

 

  
[ The Park dude: Oh my god... Kyungsoo... I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize my phone sent you all of these. ]

[ The Park dude: I don't remember much, but I think I was looking for you, because I could recall telling some people the evil sheriff of the west kidnapped you. ]

[ The Park dude: I hope you're alright. I'm sorry I didn't take good care of you out there.. ]

[ The Park dude: Kyungsoo? Please update me. My hangover finally ended so I can come and help. ]

 

  
Kyungsoo feels a little bit guilty for muting his phone for the whole duration of the weekend. For two whole days he was unreachable.

Not very mature of him. He just left everyone out there in the cold after vanishing. But Kyungsoo isn't one to dig even further into guilt right now.  
He leaves the phone aside and takes his original cellphone into hands. D.O's phone.

 

  
[ Shit it's really him: I wish I could see you one day. ]

[ Shit it's really him: Do you know if Kyungsoo is alright? I think I might have lost him in the company's halloween party. I invited him there with me but got too drunk.. ]

[ Shit it's really him: If anything happened to him I will seriously cry. ]

[ Shit it's really him: A lot. ]

 

  
Why... Why is Chanyeol like this. Why is Kyungsoo playing him so wrong like this.

Still camped at the corner of his couch Kyungsoo tried his best to hold back the gathering tears. He succeeded, but instead of crying on the outside, it felt like his sobs were internal.

There's so much that is not okay with what he's doing and Chanyeol is the last person to deserve any of this.

He left the conversations on read and called Baekhyun instead. Just to hear his voice. To ask how his family's doing. To know about his dog's new aqcuired trick. Baekhyun's voice was like medicine for his brain, almost as good as Chanyeol's music works, and although he hasn't said a word about anything that happened, he could tell Baekhyun knows already.

 

\--

 

Chanyeol arrived to the building a little later than normal, and slammed the door open to enter their music studio. Everybody's faces turned to him, his chest was heaving up and down with heavy breathes.

Once his eyes spotted Kyungsoo's location next to the monitor, the giant almost leaped at his direction, cradling his entire upper body in a strong embrace.

"Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo.. I was so worried.. Thank god you're okay."

The giant mumbled between his huffs and only pulled back after Kyungsoo tapped his back gently.

During that work day the two of them seemed to behave like always, but the dark circles under Chanyeol's eyes made Kyungsoo's heart sting with regret.

How much more guilt and remorse can he even contain?

 

  
The days are passing by in a blink of an eye. Everything continues as normal. They work, talk and hang out together. At least from Kyungsoo's eyes everything is per usual.

He wants to believe it is. But he noticed how Chanyeol sometimes acts awkwardly around him.  
How their exchange of messages and off work meetups has decreased.  
How the texts to D.O became more frequent and more daring than they used to be.

It bothers him. It repeatedly hits the back of his mind in every waking hour of his day. But what can he possibly do about it?

 

  
Baekhyun has been pretty helpful and Kyungsoo sometimes wonders how on earth he even deserves to have such a magical person as a friend.

According to their conversations, Baekhyun's promotion in the job had also given him extra perks. He works a few less hours per week yet gets paid almost a third more than his previous position. The cases he deals with are a lot more complex and challenging, which keeps him engaged and interested.

But the best thing is that hours he doesn't spend at work are like sacred times. He has so much more free time now that he really has become a regular resident in Kyungsoo's apartment.

 

  
It makes everything easier to deal with.

Kyungsoo has been pushed into the very edge of social life overnight and had no time to adjust whatsoever.

Turning from a burrito of blankets that never leaves the apartment into the butterfly Baekhyun always asked about.

It was a one hundred and eighty degrees turn from everything Kyungsoo knew and was able to handle.

With the sudden change came new results.

 

  
The first one was how much more sociable and down to earth D.O's recent fanfictions have become.

The fans were surprised at first, when the tone of the stories had shifted into something more realistic, but they love it none the less.

After the one time soft fic attempt that blew up Kyungsoo's life, he returned to his safe and known perverted roots.

 

  
The second shift in his life was Chanyeol. There's not much to explain.

Chanyeol has been Kyungsoo's source of life itself for the last five years and being around him, being known by him, being his friend was beyond anything Kyungsoo could have imagined.

Chanyeol in his life was a blessing and curse. He really wished there was a different way than to become two different entities. Battling against himself leaves him exhausted every day.

 

  
The third and last biggest shift was how he had to deal with the new feeling added to his array of emotions.

Loneliness.

Kyungsoo has been alone most of his life. Independent both functionally and socially. He had no interest and no need for any sort of human contact.

It's true that Baekhyun was an exception, a highly appreciated one, but still. Kyungsoo being alone was his sanctuary.

And now.. Now when he's alone there are only ruins of the palace he had built over the years. Like something snaked inside and tipped over his tower of safety.

He knows that it is his own fault for allowing himself to depend on Chanyeol emotionally like he had. Kyungsoo was overwhelmed and completely wiped by recieving all of the affection Chanyeol was more than willing to share.

Now spending a single day without talking to him, or even exchanging a simple text feels like forever.

 

  
Now even when they are right next to each other Kyungsoo feels lonely.

After the halloween party something in the way Chanyeol acted towards Kyungsoo had changed, and it was pretty obvious the change was negative.

Shifting from Kyungsoo being the favourite to D.O taking the whole entire slot.

Should Kyungsoo feel content about this? One way or another, he IS getting Chanyeol's attention.. Even if Chanyeol doesn't know it. So why isn't this enough to satisfy the empty hole loneliness has caved inside him?

 

  
[ Shit it's really him: You know? I really want to meet you. ]

\--[ Sent: You know it's impossible, handsome, if anybody knows who I am you'll be over. ]

[ Shit it's really him: Honestly, I don't really care that much D.O. I have so many questions to ask you and so many things I want to know. ]

\--[ Sent: You're willing to risk so much? Why? ]

[ Shit it's really him: There's something that's really important to me, and you're the only one that can do it. ]

[ Shit it's really him: I know it sounds lame and dramatic.. But I can only do this in person. ]

[ Shit it's really him: I need you. D.O. You're the only one. ]

\--[ Sent: I don't know... ]

 

\--

 

"Kyungsoo, I want to meet D.O. You have to convince her."

Chanyeol's seriousness and determination actually surprised Kyungsoo. His shoulders became tense and his typing speed on the studio's keyboard slowed down.

"I know what you'll say, 'But she wants to keep her identity a secret!' yeah, I get that, but please. I'm desparate."

Kyungsoo can't bring himself to say anything. Chanyeol really means this. He really wants to meet D.O and Kyungsoo knows exactly for what reason.

His fingers cease above the keyboard and in their place the sound of Kyungsoo's pulse rising fills his ears.

It will break his heart. Chanyeol would be devastated. Chanyeol would hate him, and fire him, and block him out of his life forever, and Kyungsoo will not be able to continue being D.O ever again because his own heart would be broken.. If it isn't already in the process.

"You're thinking too loudly, just try to tell her.. Maybe just invite her to your place and I'll be there too. She won't be able to just run away, right? It's bad to trick people and all.. But sometimes it's necessary, you know?"

Oh how much does Kyungsoo know it.

 

  
Chanyeol stepped closer to Kyungsoo and placed his big hand on his shoulder. It's clear that he is still somewhat awkward around him, for a reason Kyungsoo can only assume is related to his growing relationship with D.O, but it doesn't hurt any less.

"Please Kyungsoo, I need her."

"Fine, I'll see what I can do. Stop being so dramatic.. It's not my choice anyway."

Kyungsoo gave in with a heavy sigh and glared up at Chanyeol with half hearted hostility. The giant simply grinned down at him and patted the held shoulder a few times before letting go.

"I knew I can trust you. Let me know what she says!"

Rolling his eyes Kyungsoo turned around on the spinning chair back to the screen he's working on. Chanyeol is preparing for another comeback, and Kyungsoo, well, D.O, will be the main director for the music video production of the title song. All the ideas need to be discussed and finalized in a meeting they'll be holding in a few days.

How can Chanyeol even think about anything other than his comeback at a stressful time like this? Shit.. His jealousy of D.O is surfacing again.

 

  
The next morning when Kyungsoo only set a foot in the office Chanyeol jumped in front of him with hopeful eyes and anticipation. If he was a dog his ears would be perked and his tail would be wagging wildly behind him. It's so cute and Kyungsoo needs to distract himself and fix his glasses in place to avoid smiling.

"So? What'd she say?"

There, a smile killer.

"She said no."

Chanyeol has now transformed from a dog into a deflating balloon, his shoulders loosening downwards and his smile slowly fading away into disappointment.

"I tried, okay? Stop with this face, you look like you just realized your refrigerator is empty."

Kyungsoo spits with a bit too much anger and Chanyeol is actually startled when taking a step back to allow him enterance into the office.

Shit.. Kyungsoo is seriously losing it. He's just so agitated from the whole situation and the last thing he wants to do is harm Chanyeol in any way.

Biting almost painfully on his lower lip, Kyungsoo turns back to apologize, but Chanyeol's already seated in his station, deep in music tracks and folders.

 

  
This same exact event happens every morning now. Every time Kyungsoo enters the office Chanyeol is already there with his puppy eyes and undying faith that D.O will change her mind.

It's getting on Kyungsoo's nerves for so many reasons.

The first one being his jealousy over how much attention Chanyeol pays D.O rather than to Kyungsoo himself.

The second being how hard it is for Kyungsoo to not just kiss Chanyeol whenever his eyes sparkle like that.

The third is.. well.. The fact that it is physically, realistically, an impossible request to fulfill. And it frustrates Kyungsoo that he's the one in charge of this trainwreck.

D.O doesn't exist. There is no secret cousin that writes smutty fanfics and wants to keep her identity a secret. Chanyeol will never be able to meet the magical girl he thinks is replying to his needy texts everyday.

He tried to hint that the giant should just give up and move on, but to no avail.

 

  
"Listen, if it's such a big deal I could dress up and be D.O for you."

Baekhyun shrugs between his munches and Kyungsoo doesn't feel like he wants to take another bite of his pizza anymore just from the thought of Baekhyun doing something like this.  
He bets Baekhyun feels like he's making a royal sacrifice for him. By looking at his expression it might be so.

"You're an idiot. Unfortunately for us though, Chanyeol isn't as stupid as you and he'll know the person in front of him is not a girl. Probably."

Baekhyun pretends to be hurt, pressing a palm to his chest and fake gasping at Kyungsoo's direction.

The recovery is quick though, because a moment later he shoves another piece into his mouth.

"Hmm.. There's this really nice gal at my work. I'm pretty sure she is also a fan of Chanyeol. Maybe we could ask her to act?"

Kyungsoo sighs and lumps backwards on the couch, letting his arms dangle on the sides of his body.

"Won't work. D.O isn't nice to Chanyeol. God.. It makes me feel like I'm crazy everytime I have to talk about myself in third person..."

He reaches out for a napkin, and after wiping off the grease, he smacks his palm onto his own face.

"Pfft."

"Stop laughing, I'm having a crisis here."

"Fine, fine. You can either confess to everything or just keep declining and watching the light in his eyes die a little everytime."

"Wow, thanks."

 

  
Against Kyungsoo's better judgement of the situation, he decided to go all the way with his act, and started thinking of a plan to make it 'happen'.

He would have told Baekhyun what he chose to do, but he doesn't feel like being judged or laughed at.

 

  
"Chanyeol."

Kyungsoo's voice shook a little when he approached the giant of his dreams, and after gulping and gaining his attention away from the screen, rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"She said yes."

A stab to his heart in the form of Chanyeol's fiery spirit lighting up would have been alright if it wasn't for the fact he's going to do something that might turn this fire off for good.

 

\--

 

Right. So tonight, this friday night, Chanyeol will be coming to Kyungsoo's apartment to meet D.O.

Kyungsoo spent the entire evening putting the place in order yesterday. Generally, he's a very clean person. The only reason it took so long was because his limbs simply wouldn't follow his brain's commands.

His mind is occupied with so many possibilities, so much Chanyeol, that he ended up nearly throwing a perfectly usable new pack of tissues to the garbage. Instead of taking an hour like he thought, the cleaning process lasted almost four.

The place wasn't necessarily dirty in any way, but unlike Chanyeol's ease to bring Kyungsoo over to his untidied apartment, Kyungsoo's meticulous cleaniness is too strong.

 

  
Baekhyun suggested buying a few snacks for the event, just to fill up the silence in case things turn awkward again.

Like they always do ever since the halloween party.

The weather is now cold and unforgiving. Autumn is slowly transforming into winter, and dealing with the cold temeprature is hard enough even without the merciless winds.

Unfortunately for Kyungsoo, since the tension between Chanyeol and him has grown to tear them further apart, he no longer recieves any rides. Not to work, not back home, not anywhere.

 

  
Chanyeol was particularly cheerful today at work.

He always has a positive vibe emitting outwards, but today he really seemed to be glowing. Even joking around with Kyungsoo, which he hadn't done in a while.

Kyungsoo's stomach was turning all day. Seeing Chanyeol this happy induces pole opposite feelings inside him.

Chanyeol, the man he is in love with. The man he admires, the man he'd literally die for, the man that in all technicality gave him his life.. His smile sprouts flowers in Kyungsoo's soul, but under the standing circumstances these flowers are getting stomped on and thrown away.

If the connection between them wouldn't have been as damaged as it is right now, Kyungsoo would have invited Chanyeol to come over right after work. His place is clean and he would want more than anything to make Chanyeol feel at home and enjoy his stay. That will have to wait.. Either for another opportunity, or to be written about in a fanfiction.

 

  
Work ended fast and well. Kyungsoo spent the few alone hours in his place watching some random shows about houses on television and texting Baekhyun. The nausea growing at the bottom of his stomach with every minute passing.

He has no idea how his plan will end. And whichever result.. He'll have to accept it and suffer and consequences.

Kyungsoo is the evil mastermind behind this whole web of lies. Baekhyun is a mere supportive accomplice.

His fingers are itching to call Chanyeol and cancel the whole thing. He is willing to just push through it all for the sake of staying by Chanyeol's side.. Working with him.. But he knows that by now he had let this build up too high to ignore.

 

  
A knock on the door. Kyungsoo raised his head from the focus on the television right away. Shutting it off quickly and stepping up to the door. His heart begins showing signs of hyperactivity in his chest.

His hand slowly reached to the lock, and although something in him tells him he should pretend like he isn't even home at all, he knows it's not a plausible course of action. A deep gulp and a heavy breath help his hand stabilize and the lock is now released.

In front of his door stands a grinning Chanyeol, looking nothing out of the ordinary except the ethereal energy surrounding him and spilling all over the place.

Kyungsoo is dazzled.

 

  
"Good evening Kyungsoo!"

He calls out happily and forces his long legs into the apartment with humble curiousity.

Kyungsoo is so hypnotized from the way his jawline appears when he scans the area that he realizes only after a while that he's being given a small bag.

"Hey Chanyeol. Make yourself at home."

"That'd be easy, you place is fantastic!"

Kyungsoo gulps nervously and stares down at the bag in his hands.  
Macaroons?  
After giving a short glance to the symbol printed on the side of the bag he sighs out.

"Chanyeol, you really didn't have to bring these.."

"I know, I wanted to."

"So cheesy. Such an expensive brand too."

"Kyungsoo, there's no cheese in macaroons."

This is the grin that makes Kyungsoo's stomach turn yet again. A smirk of satisfaction and pleasure that is impossible to ignore. Kyungsoo thought by now he'd have more durability against Chanyeol's perfection but he clearly has been a fool to think so.

 

  
Chanyeol took his absurdly large shoes off at the enterance and settled on the couch next to Kyungsoo, pulling a leg up and holding it to himself by the ankle.

He really meant it when he said it'll be easy for him to feel at home. Kyungsoo sits in his usual corner, and it eases on his stress just a little bit. Just enough to prepare for the upcoming awkward conversations they'll be having over the snacks Kyungsoo prepared beforehand.

Maybe the macaroons too, but Kyungsoo's positive these are saved for the Very Important Person of the night; D.O.

 

  
An hour passes.

"So that was the first actual accident I took part of.. I mean, it sounds worse than it was, I was just a kid tryna ride my bicycle without the third help wheel and--"

Another hour.

"I never understood why does it matter if someone takes a bite of the kitkat or breaks it to the sticks first. It tastes the same both ways. So long as it gets down to my belly.."

The refill of snacks is running dangerously low on the table, and all fears of Kyungsoo having to deal with awkward silence dissolved.

It was a little odd, how Chanyeol simply wouldn't stop talking. Maybe it was the excitement of waiting for D.O, or maybe he's just trying to fill in the gaps that were left between Kyungsoo and him.

Either way, Kyungsoo was relieved, while dying on the inside from what's to come.

 

  
"So, is she coming soon?"

Chanyeol finally asked before shoving a pretzel into his mouth and staring at Kyungsoo.

"Uh.. I don't know."

"Should I text her or something?"

He began pulling his phone out of the pocket of his jacket, long fingers tugging to the very edge of the device that Kyungsoo always thought looked too small for his hands.  
With a sense of panic Kyungsoo quickly shook his head and hands at Chanyeol.

"No no no, I'll do it."

Chanyeol shrugged and continued chewing on his pretzel, letting his phone fall back into the pocket and shifting his position on the couch.

Kyungsoo turned around and slightly away from Chanyeol. Looking at the unlocked screen of his secondary device. He would have texted Baekhyun something random to pretend.. But he doesn't even have Baekhyun's number. Not his own number either.

He tapped something into the empty notes app on this device and then closed it and hid it away, hoping Chanyeol didn't suspect him enough to actually watch his screen.

 

  
Another hour comes to an end.

"She said she's coming, right? I mean, I've got the whole weekend free, so I don't mind waiting. Kinda feel bad for you though. It's getting a little late."

Kyungsoo really wants to just tell him to stop caring. Stop caring so much about him. About D.O. About anything really. Because the more he cares the more painful the outcome will be.

But who is he kidding?

Whatever ending this night will have, in both possible endings Kyungsoo could think of, is going to be the end.

 

  
It's been four hours and D.O hasn't come. Obviously.

Kyungsoo knows D.O won't come. Kyungsoo also knows Chanyeol is getting tired of the wait. Tired in general, and his patience is running thin.

The excitement that surrounded him earlier is now dimmed and downing, and the flow of the conversation they managed to have for so long is dying out into silence.

He hopes it'll be over soon. He can see it in his mind, Chanyeol standing up and greeting him goodbye with a smile that's made of pure sadness. And the next monday he'd be quiet and composed, and they wouldn't talk at all anymore about anything that's unrelated to work.

To his surprise though, things don't play out that way.

 

  
Out of the blue Chanyeol suddenly slaps his own cheeks gently and turns to Kyungsoo with a smile as cheerful as he had at the very beginning, just a little more tired.

"Say, do you maybe have a gaming console here? We don't know how long it'll take, so might as well have some fun, right?"

Kyungsoo wants him to stop. Chanyeol needs to stop, or be stopped, or just.. Ugh. His heart is breaking piece by piece from knowing the truth behind the painful waste of time.

With the most neutral expression he can master, Kyungsoo nodded and stood up towards the little cabinet under the big television screen. Carefully he pulled out an old yet strangely clean looking Playstaion two console and two joysticks. All wires connected and in perfect condition.  
He almost feels hurt when Chanyeol audibly gasps.

"Wow, dude, this is literally a collectors item. Such a good state too!"

"Yeah well, I still like it."

 

  
Chanyeol's entire body is now leaning at the edge of his seat. Gigantic hands holding onto the little plastic joystick and clicking out the tiny buttons with precision that can only be aqcuired through years of practice.

They're playing the old legendary Crash of the Titans together. Constantly messing up, and laughing everytime. Shouting at each other to follow the leads towards two different directions on the restricted map. Falling and failing, high fiving whenever they manage to pass an obstacle.

Baekhyun would have been so jealous right now.

Kyungsoo never allows him to play on the playstation in fear of him destroying it. Yet Chanyeol recieved full access on his first visit.

He can already see him saying 'Pfft, priorities.' with a mock hurt expression the next time he comes over.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

 

  
"Kyungsoo, text her again? Did she say anything?"

Chanyeol is now sprawled more comfortably on the couch. His legs spreaded and his eyes glued to the screen while his fingers mindlessly click on the joystick.

They finished almost the entire game while playing, and Kyungsoo's fingers began aching from the use, so now Chanyeol is playing a level they've already finished on his own.

Silence. Kyungsoo sits there, his legs crossed and his back rested against the couch. His eyes avert downwards to his own hands and his heart throbbing faster and faster in his chest.

"If you don't mind, I can even stay over for the night. Maybe she'd prefer coming tomorrow morning or something?"

Chanyeol persists, which stresses Kyungsoo twice as much unintentionally. And still, silence. Kyungsoo can't keep this on.

 

  
Playing with Chanyeol like this, forgetting the world, forgetting his own worries and fears, he realized that whatever he had planned for the rest of the night was not going to do. It has been too much, and too long, and Kyungsoo's worst fear will have to come true eventually.

He already let it last way beyond he should have.

He wants Chanyeol to be happy. And he's tired of being the reason Chanyeol's happiness will not be able to come alive.

It's all because of him. Because of Kyungsoo. Because Kyungsoo just couldn't get enough. Because he was too naive and too happy himself to understand what sort of poisonous stew his actions are cooking.

 

  
"Kyungsoo? Actually, if there's still time.. Maybe you could help me. Got any advice on how to impress her?"

The giant now spoke while looking at him. The game paused and the joystick being placed down on the coffee table in front of them.

Kyungsoo can practically hear the cracks spreading over his unnaturally fast beating heart.

Chanyeol wants to try his luck with D.O. Flirt with her.. Make her fall for him for real.

That makes sense. Otherwise why would he say any of the poetic things he kept texting to her?

It's already late at night and Kyungsoo's the only secret holder that can snap Chanyeol's bubble and watch him stumble in the truth of reality.

"Advice.. Uhm.. Don't try."

Kyungsoo replies dryly. Quietly, looking down at nothing in particular.

"Huh? Well, you've got a point, until now all of my attempts failed. Maybe these macaroons will convince her when she arrives."

Chanyeol's optimism makes Kyungsoo feel dizzy from the agony of having to ruin such a pure emotion.

 

  
"Chanyeol.."

His throat is burning.

"Nah, it's fine. Always better to just be yourself. I mean.. She probably already likes me a lot if she keeps writing all these fanfictions. Gh-- Uh-- Not that I follow or read any of them-- Mmh. But. I can't wait.. She's the only one."

Kyungsoo now turned his head towards Chanyeol. The way his eyes are shining, looking forward at the frozen television screen, filled with hope and anticipation and something Kyungsoo has never quite seen before.

Other than that one time Chanyeol attempted to use him as a test subject for the pick up lines.

What can he do If there's no place for Kyungsoo, but there is only Kyungsoo?

 

  
"Chanyeol...."

It comes out as barely a whisper.

"Are you alright? Getting too tired? You can nap if you'd like, or even go to sleep in your bed. I can wake you up when she arrives, or just fall asleep myself hahaha."

Chanyeol graces Kyungsoo's back of the head with a gentle worried stroke before stretching his arms upwards with a grunt.

He doesn't understand. He doesn't know a thing. Kyungsoo's entire existence is being squeezed inside his body.

This is trully the end. His lips are quivering and although it's cold enough to leave the fridge open without concern, sweat spreads in his shaking palms and forehead.

 

  
"D.O isn't coming..."

Only air flew out from his throat soundlessly.

Chanyeol stares at him. He can't see him, but he can feel his eyes digging right into his brain.

Time is ticking backwards and Kyungsoo doesn't even notice he's trembling.

"What did you say?"

"D.O isn't coming. Chanyeol."

Silence.

Kyungsoo can hear the gears in Chanyeol's head starting to spin.

"D.O isn't coming because she isn't real."

"What..?"

"D.O doesn't exist."

Silence.

Kyungsoo stands up from the couch and almost collapses right there on the carpet.

"I don't have any fiction writing cousin. There is no D.O."

Silence.

And Kyungsoo makes the grave mistake of looking at Chanyeol. Eyebrows furrowed with intense seriousness that sends a sharp shudder of true fear down his spine.

"What are you sayin--"

"Chanyeol, there is no D.O because I am D.O."

His voice cracked so clearly that he nearly choked on his own words.

"Yeah, that's right. I am D.O. I wrote the fanfictions myself. I represented myself at the court."

Silence.

"Then how--"

"The texting? Hah, I borrowed a spare one."

Kyungsoo doesn't even know what kind of expression is spread across his own face. Probably something combining death and terror.

He shoves both hands into his pockets and pulls out the devices. Terribly shaking, he lets them fall down on the couch where he sat a moment ago, and steps backwards away from Chanyeol's location, removing his eyes from the view of his undefined reaction.

"It's awful. Right? It's terrible--.. Hah. I lied, I lied this entire time. I lied to you Chanyeol, hah."

Silence.

"Wait--"

"I am D.O. I am Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo's eyes are shaking in their sockets behind the glasses and he officially disconnected with reality.

Palms gripping tightly to his own head and hair, back curling and tears blurring his already unstable line of sight that somehow ended up being directed towards the wall and away from the one human that exists in his current state of world.

 

  
He cannot feel anything anymore. Nothing other than the immense waves of agonizing pain pulsing from the center of his body and onto the very end of his fingertips.

He's done it. He's free. Chanyeol won't suffer anymore.

It's all over. Kyungsoo will be over, too.

He wants to apologize to Baekhyun for not agreeing to buy him the silly iron man toy he wanted when they bought the snacks at the local market.

He wants to apologize to Baekhyun for not allowing him to play the playstation before. For not telling him goodbye.

Because when Chanyeol leaves this place, Kyungsoo's whole world will be leaving with him. And he will have nothing.

 

  
Underwater.

Kyungsoo's underwater. Down deep in the ocean, drifting lower into the darkness and nothingness of the unknown.

He can't breathe, he doesn't need to. Things are okay now. They're fine the way they are. He's already accepted his faith, the depth of the unexplored and terrifying space.

There's a blurr swimming around him in the waters. A dull movement surrounding his body.

He's down so low, so deep, that he doesn't even want to open his eyes. He will only see dark anyway.

 

  
Muted deep voice is echoing in his ears. The monsters at the bottom of the ocean are getting to him. He cannot make sense of it. Cannot form words. But it doesn't leave. The dull sensation, the knowledge that something is right there surrounding him, tugging to him.

It must be the guilt and regret catching up to him in a last attempt to strangle him and end it all.

But he isn't being strangled. He isn't being eaten by a beast at the bottom of the ocean. The movement around him is warm. Almost like a hand reaching down from above and pulling him upwards.

 

  
Kyungsoo doesn't want to get to the surface again. It is too scary, he left it a mess. He won't be needing any air anyway.

But the tugging continues, and Kyungsoo can sense light flickering against his closed eyelids.

 

  
"---soo....... Kyu--... ---ey...."

More warmth is spreading around him. He's being touched by something that he can't identify, and it feels somewhat familiar.

Not quite as familiar as Baekhyun would be.. Something else.

Gradually he's being pulled out of the water, and he's back on his feet. On the ground. In his house. Somehow he's still there. In the real world. Surprised that it still exists.

Kyungsoo isn't alone.

 

  
"..--ere. Kyungsoo? Are you alright? Hey, it's okay, you're okay. Kyungsoo?"

Kyungsoo's face feels wet and hot, it's a little difficult to open his eyes, but when he does he's met with the view of his own living room. Just a blurry version of it due to his eyes being so wet.

Why is everything so wet anyway?

He blinks a couple of times before realizing there's more to his position than simply seeing his house.

All of a sudden his lungs sting terribly, and his body retaliates the pain by gasping in air that it missed.

 

  
"Just relax.. You're fine Kyungsoo.."

The voice comes from an awfully close source. That source being located just a little bit behind his ear.

It's a soft tone. Filled with caution and protection. Kyungsoo likes it. There's something more.

His tense shoulders are no longer stiff, and he nearly forgot that it's almost winter. Soothing motions are running over the back of his head, and they're so warm. Something is holding him.

He knows it because there is no way his own knees would be able to keep him up above the floor.

 

  
It's Chanyeol.

His long toned arms are wrapping Kyungsoo's entire upper body almost uncomfortably tight. And his hand is gentle and careful behind his head. His voice is gentle and careful too.

Maybe this isn't the real world. Maybe this is the exact end of the world. Frankly, if this is how Kyungsoo's world is going to end, he will be fine with it. With the feeling of Chanyeol's essence like a cloak, his scent filling the lungs, and his voice muting all the scary white noise that is life.

His chest doesn't ache as bad as it did moments ago and his breathing pattern slowly eases just enough for it to be sufferable.

 

  
"Good job.."

Chanyeol is an angel.

Enough now. The panic is gone. All that happens is real.

Kyungsoo went through one hell of break down, but now he's back. Now he's real again. Now he doesn't need to pretend. There's no ocean and no monsters, there's only Chanyeol.

He'll take it. Not even in Kyungsoo's wildest of imaginations he could predict Chanyeol would do this. Hold him like this. Protect him like this.

 

  
"I'm sorry--"

"Shh.. It's alright. Kyungsoo, I'm here. You're alright.."

"I love you Chanyeol.."

Kyungsoo's chest suddenly tightens and a new wave of tears makes an appearance sliding down his face and until they reach the already damp area of Chanyeol's shirt.

And he closes his eyes.

And he's home.

 

\--

 

The next time Kyungsoo opens his eyes it's morning. He knows not because any light can get through the curtains and into his room, but because the waking birds are singing to each other from the treetops in the street below.

A faint smell of eggs cooking, and the little sign of sizzling noises connect his consciousness to the rest of the body, and he gets out of the bed. Dressed in actual clothes and not his usual pajama attire.

He doesn't really question himself about it, because the smell and the noise are far more interesting than the fabrics on his body.

When he opens the door of his room his senses are under attack. It's cold.

Squinting his eyes due to the unforgiving light of day shining through the apartment, Kyungsoo presses his steps to the kitchen.

 

  
It can't be real.

There's no way Chanyeol is standing in his tiny kitchen and cooking them eggs with Kyungsoo's apron tied around his waist.

There's no way he's the one that set the table with plates and utensils for two. There's no way he's humming and tapping his foot on the ground.

Not after yesterday, no way.

But there is way, apparently, because when Kyungsoo takes a step into the kitchen Chanyeol's entire body turns to his direction to meet his eyes.

 

  
"Oh-- Hey D.O-- I mean, Kyungsoo. Or D.O. Or both?"

Chanyeol's smiling, his voice is hoarse, but Kyungsoo is way too exhausted to be able to handle looking directly into the sun, so he averts his eyes from the giant and drops himself into one of the chairs in front of the table, back hunched and hair frazzled.

The proper morning appearance.

Only after Chanyeol turns back to the pan under his charge Kyungsoo dares to spare him a look.  
It seems the proper morning appearance doesn't skip even angels. Because Chanyeol's hair is just as messy as his own, and although he looks pretty composed, one of his socks is missing.

 

  
"... Where is your sock?"

Kyungsoo's voice is equaly hoarse, completing the final touch of the disoriented, barely in touch with reality morning person that he used to be when his only job was being a writer.

"Uhm, funny story.. Well, I kinda lost it in your living room. Pretty sure it's somewhere between all the blankets. They're very comfortable by the way. Smell good too."

Okay.  
Kyungsoo has to avoid thinking about how these blankets in the corner of the couch are the only spot in the apartment he actually spends time in, and that now if Chanyeol used them it means they most likely caught his scent.

He almost missed that Chanyeol actually complimented Kyungsoo's own scent by admiring the blankets'.

"Chanyeol.. Why are you here?"

He's almost startled by Chanyeol's quick turn of the head to his direction, wide eyed, looking as if Kyungsoo had just announced the end of the world.

Which is probably not far from the truth.

"Because I want to, duh. Unless you can find the secret agent pointing his sniper gun at the back of my skull."

Kyungsoo exhales through his nose as if to imitate actual laughter and rubs his face. He didn't even remember putting his glasses on when he woke up.

"No.. Really. Why?"

"Let's talk after we wake up, yeah?"

Chanyeol steps in and pours half the mixture of vegetables and scrambled eggs on Kyungsoo's plate, the rest to his own. He then places the pan away and sits down.

They eat mostly in silence. Kyungsoo thanks Chanyeol for the meal, and the other sometimes says a sentence or two about how cool the design of the apartment is, or the birds chirping outside.

 

\--

 

"I've.. uh.. I've been writing for about five years now. I actually.. published my first piece on the day of your debut. Hah... It's gross, I know, I'm sorry."

Kyungsoo hides himself further inside the blankets.

"No-- stop. Just talk normally, don't worry about anything."

"Okay.. Mmh. You read my fics.. so you know that what I write is.. Not exactly normal. That's just how it is. The first time I wrote something that doesn't involve.. uh.. you know, these things, was the one you based your music video on."

He was right, Chanyeol's scent really stuck to his blankets.

"All the readers told me to sue you.. Even my friend tried to convince me. So I did."

"My manager almost popped a nerve when he found out.."

Chanyeol laughs genuinely and runs a hand through his flawlessly messy hair, sitting sideways on the couch. Facing Kyungsoo.

"Since I'm.. you know. A guy. My friend-- ah-- he was the lawyer, told me that I should be acting like a representer. I can't just go and flaunt my identity around.. I'd be putting myself at risk. South Korea doensn't really like.. People like me."

Chanyeol nodded attentively. Without even mentioning any specific words of definitions or labels, Chanyeol knew exactly what he meant.

"So we stuck with the cousin idea. And then.. Before anything even happened, I bumped into you. That's how it all started.. "

Kyungsoo lowers his gaze with shame and regret, but continues on.

"After I gave you my real number as D.O.. I borrowed a second phone from my friend. That one became Kyungsoo's number-- I mean, my number, but not--- uh.. You know what I mean. I guess that's about it."

Kyungsoo raised his eyes again, hoping Chanyeol wouldn't show too much disgust.

He didn't. This time these were Chanyeol's eyes looking sideways with stress. Why would he be stressed?

"I'm a little embarrassed.. And by little I mean very.. So you've seen all of my conversations with you... And with D.O..."

Chanyeol's cheeks and ears are coated with a new color. It's pink. And Kyungsoo can feel his own cheeks and ears heating up moderately slow.

".. Yeah. Yes I've seen them all... I'm sorry--"

"No, no. Sure, it's kinda weird.. But.. I'm a little happy about it."

"Happy..?"

"Since we're all about revealing the truth and all that--.. Uhm. Ah...."

Chanyeol seems to get more nervous by the second. His cheeks are now a few shades darker and the fingers of the hand that isn't holding Chanyeol's chin on the back of the couch are rambling restlessly on the fabric of his jeans.

"Chanyeol, it's fine. You should fire me and we'll be done and over. I'm really thankful for you not leaving me here to die last night.. But.. Really. You've done more than enough. I'm very grateful for the opportunity. I can shut D.O down too, if you'd like."

"NO!!-- I mean, no, don't shut D.O down."

Kyungsoo could swear he saw Chanyeol jump in panic when he spoke, and his eager answer came as a surprise too.

"I'm sorry.. I guess I'm just not ready yet. It's uhm.. The first time something like this happened to me."

"Well, clearly. I don't think it ever happened to anybody before.. Being tricked like this.. I'll always regret it."

Kyungsoo admits, locking his eyes with Chanyeol's to convey his true feelings of guilt.

The conversation quiets for a while. The two of them just sit there and breathe, each in their own pattern.

"...Say. Wanna finish the game from yesterday?"

Chanyeol's smile is dripping mischief and Kyungsoo's worries are gone and beyond.

 

  
An odd way to confess. Kyungsoo wonders to himself. But he is glad that Chanyeol took it so well.

 

  
They play together again. For a couple of hours, before Chanyeol calls it a day and decides to let Kyungsoo rest and clear his mind from the bottled stresses.  
Not before making sure he'll be coming to work on monday.

When the door closes behind him, Kyungsoo feels empty again. Drained.

All of the tention that's been suffocating him on a daily basis flew with the wind.

Of course he still worries about how oddly Chanyeol reacted to the whole situation. This result was nowhere near what Kyungsoo prepared himself for.

He's vacant, and loneliness starts filling up all the little holes the stress had left behind.

 

  
[ Shit it's really him: Kyungsoo? Rest well. Thank you for letting me know about it all. You'll probably hear from me soon. -Smiling emoji- ]

 

  
Checking his phone, his real phone, the one that was used for D.O, a small smile grew on his lips.

Ah.. that's right. He'll have to contact Baekhyun quickly. Not only to update him on everything.. But to return the secondary phone that won't be used anymore.

 

\--

 

Chanyeol called Kyungsoo on sunday evening. Talking about how his stomach is aching after eating too much during lunch.

In return Kyungsoo explained how Baekhyun reacted to everything that went down during the 'meeting' with D.O.

At first Kyungsoo was a little nervous to speak, but Chanyeol's consideration and calmness were enough to enable him to do so.  
By the end of the conversation Chanyeol confirmed once again that Kyungsoo could, and should, continue working with him at the company. Which was a relief that raised a lot of questions.

Neither of them spoke about D.O, or fanfictions anymore.

 

  
The days at work are back to how they used to be before the halloween party.

There's no more awkwardness and separation between the two of them. No more uneasy silences and weird quick glances of doubt. Kyungsoo's mind was no longer tied in a knot of negativity and guilt.

Chanyeol by his side made him feel secure.

It's so hard to grasp how bizarre it is. Chanyeol was his partner in crime, knowing the secret that.. Kyungsoo writes sexual fantasy fictions about him? And somehow it didn't seem to bother him?

The most he had caught Chanyeol doing out of character was turn his head away quickly when their eyes met one time. But it happened a hundred times since then and Chanyeol's head hasn't turned.

 

  
Winter is cold and harsh.

For a while Chanyeol couldn't come to work after catching a rough cold. Kyungsoo showed up at his apartment with a pot of warm soup and some special herbs to blanch him tea.

Afterwards, when Chanyeol was healthy again, he came to the office every morning with an extra cup of hot chocolate for Kyungsoo for a week.

They managed to slide a few movie nights at the theatre between Chanyeol's intense variety schedules after the successful comeback.

Kyungsoo continued publishing stories when he had the time. He never told Chanyeol when a story was released. He never asked Chanyeol if by any chance the giant read it.

Kyungsoo is aware of his position. A creepy obsessed fan that somehow by sheer luck managed to become his obsession subject's best friend.

At least thats what he thought would be a good description for his position from Chanyeol's point of view.

 

  
The two of them decided to ditch the company's combined christmas and sylverster's party for the sake of grabbing some street noodles in the nearby almost vacant neighbourhood, and watching the fireworks from a bench located on the side of a bridge above the han river.

It was hilarious to exchange gifts because they got each other the exact same brand of scarf just in different patterns.

Kyungsoo's scarf for Chanyeol had the pattern of giraffe's fur, and Chanyeol's scarf for Kyungsoo had the pattern of black feathers.

They fell into such a strong fit of laughter that Kyungsoo rushed them to the closest toilet to avoid a bladder disaster in the middle of the street.

This is how they chose to celebrate each other's birthdays as well. Combined in the space between their birthdates.

 

  
Baekhyun finally got to meet Chanyeol in the early spring when the giant asked Kyungsoo to invite Baekhyun along to his penthouse for a gaming night.

He had already been told by Kyungsoo that the now very professional yet child-like lawyer has a passion for these things.

The puppy duo clicked so fast when they arrived that Kyungsoo thought he can die in peace.

While the competetive children who are older than him, funnily enough, were shouting at each other over the games, Kyungsoo had the whole kitchen space for himself to explore and exploit. Fixing the three of them a feast calmly.

 

  
Kyungsoo's love for Chanyeol kept growing and filling him up inside with happiness and gratitude.

He really is the lucky one here. Somehow everything just fit together so well for him. In the back of his mind he will always regret what he had done, and he will always know that Chanyeol is more of a piece of art at the museum. Hanging to be looked at and admired, not to be owned by anyone.

Especially not Kyungsoo.

 

  
The summer is approaching again. The beginning of summer resembles more than just the upcoming heat waves Kyungsoo will have to live through, but also the beginning of his new life. The start of the trippy Chanyeol franchise.

This year really was a wild trip for Kyungsoo's little heart.

Kyungsoo of today would like to think he'd be stopping his old self from lying to Chanyeol about his identity, but then how would he know if Chanyeol would be part of his life at all?

Well, he would have been there. The one and only source of inspiration for Kyungsoo's heated mind. Maybe he could have survived bumping into Chanyeol and nothing more.

No matter how close they are now.. What happens in his mind and his fics will remain a fantasy.

 

\--

 

Today is the day.

The exact date of the court hearing that took place a year ago.

Somehow this year it landed on a saturday. And Kyungsoo decided to dedicate this saturday on self reflection.

It's not like he has been reflecting on himself almost every day since the moment he started the lie, no, not at all. But today is going to be more important because it's special.

Huddled in his blanket piles at the corner of the couch, Kyungsoo is sitting with the laptop in front of him. Chanyeol's latest single playing from the speakers that belong to the television, and the air conditioner roaring in the background.

The cursor is blinking almost impatiently on the empty word file that's illuminating the frame of his glasses in white.

 

  
' A knock on the door... '

 

  
A knock on the door.

Kyungsoo's eyebrows furrow and he lowers the volume of the music while turning his head suspiciously towards his apartment's enterance.  
Did.. Did he just imagine someone knocking because he wrote it down or--

Another knock. Okay, it's legit.

Kyungsoo slides the laptop aside and unwillingly frees himself from the warm blankets cocoon he had worked on heating for the past hour.

Before reaching the door Kyungsoo passes by the mirror hanging in the hallway, and checks himself out. With a sigh and a few tugs on his hair, he became presentable enough for whoever his guest may be.

He has a feeling it's just Baekhyun arriving to reminiscent about a year ago. He wouldn't mind, because Kyungsoo himself is doing the exact same thing.

 

  
The first thing Kyungsoo sees when the door opens is pink.

Lots and lots of pink. And green.

At his eye level a small yet neatly arranged bouquet of flowers is held by a pair of large hands.

Kyungsoo is able to recognize these hands better than his own by now.

Instantly, his heart begins racing in his chest, preparing his blood stream for what might be a shock before he'd raise his eyes and be dazzled by the sun standing in front of him.

Chanyeol's grin is wide and genuine, wide enough so that Kyungsoo shouldn't be able to notice the pink shade across the scrunched cheeks. But Kyungsoo notices the blush, because Kyungsoo notices everything about Chanyeol.

 

  
"Happy one year friendship anniversary Kyungsoo!"

His voice cracks when his long limbs squeeze Kyungsoo in what he'd define a bear hug. But even being squeezed this tight doesn't stop Kyungsoo from laughing at the giant's amusing behaviour.

When he's released from the hold, Chanyeol rushes to push the bouquet into his arms. It's light and meticulously designed, the flowers vary from whites to pinks to a few red sparks.

"Thank you Chanyeolie, they're beautiful. I apologize in advance though, I haven't prepared anything to give in return, so leave the disappointment outside, yeah?"

Kyungsoo's grin is too big and he knows it, but he doesn't even try to be subtle about how happy he is.

His cheeks are as pink as Chanyeol's. As pink as the flowers he sniffs before turning back into the house to find a proper vase, leaving Chanyeol to take care of his enterance by himself.

He's not a foreigner in this residence anymore anyway.

 

  
When Kyungsoo comes back to the living room with two glasses of lemonade and a plate of butter cookies he sees Chanyeol staring at the screen of his laptop.

Sudden panic runs over him before he remembers the only thing being displayed is the single line he managed to type before Chanyeol's surprise visit. He settles down into the blankets that lost their heat by now and shuts the laptop's screen off.

Chanyeol sips from his lemonade and after placing the glass back down, leans forward with his elbows on the knees.

He is beautiful. Chanyeol is absolutely stunning.

His expression is oddly serious and no matter how many times Kyungsoo will be around him, he will always be more handsome than before.

 

  
"Kyungsoo.. How is uh. How is writing going?"

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.

"It's going fine.. Why?"

Something feels very wrong all of a sudden. He watches how Chanyeol begins fidgeting with his own fingers with unease.

It's quiet for a while, and Kyungsoo really wants to grab a cookie, but eating anything with this growing stress wouldn't be a smart idea.

"I'm sorry, don't be so nervous-- I just... It's something I have to talk about."

Chanyeol sighs and presses a few fingers onto his own lips. Seems like it's going to be a serious subject if he's struggling this much to put some words out.

Kyungsoo's thankful for the reassurance but seeing Chanyeol nervous would make everyone around feel on edge.

"No worries. I've got time."

"Kyungsoo, you know. When we met I told you that I was a fan of D.O. I wasn't lying."

O...kay?

"But after seeing you-- uh... After we bumped into each other and all. I kind of.. couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Me?"

Chanyeol stutters out a breath and his eyes stare at his lemonade glass intensely.

"Yes. I just never met anybody like you before then in my life. You're so small and cute-- really too damn adorable, and your big eyes and even bigger glasses... I saw that your hair was out of place but it was just perfect--.."

Kyungsoo's eyes are gazing at Chanyeol's nervous profile as he speaks. Every word starts logging into a coherent line of translation in his brain.

Even though Chanyeol is talking pretty quietly, his voice is loud and clear in Kyungsoo's ears. His climbing heart rate is also loud and clear in his ears.

"I knew that the only chance seeing you again would be to grab the only opportunity I had.. D.O. I never thought you'd actually come and work with me at the studio. In my head I began wondering how I'll make D.O bring me to you."

Chanyeol continues and Kyungsoo's fingers tighten the grip on the inside of his blankets fortress.

"When you were there I knew that D.O's ideas were important but.. You being with me was better. You.. with your soft voice and old grandpa's fashion style, and these heart lips, and the little moles on your neck and ear and--- well, you were my new inspirtion."

Kyungsoo's mute.

"Okay-- listen-- It's really hard to talk about so please just.. Hang in there until I get to the point.."

Chanyeol's foot starts tapping down on the carpet repeatedly. Whoa.. He really is struggling.

"You might think you've done something bad.. But I.. I did much worse. Gah, I used D.O. I used my conversation with D.O to experiment and try out what might work on you-- it's because your personalities were so similiar. Since I didn't know you were D.O and--.."

He clears his throat and takes another sip before sighing.

"After my terrible failure at the halloween party I felt really awful. I was drunk.. and I was convinced you hated me.. Haha.. They were so lame and your reactions were so clever and I felt like you'd run away from me if I didn't lie and say it was meant for D.O..."

"Technically I did run away from you there.. Since uh.. well, now you know how I felt towards you back then.. But still."

His eyes now finally rotated towards Kyungsoo's direction, but his expression cannot be recognized.

"I knew. I didn't know until what extent because I thought only D.O felt that way.. Uhm. So I stepped back. I thought I crossed the line and tried to stay away... It was horrible. The worst period of my life. I could barely sleep at nights.. My only comfort was the fact you kept coming to work every morning.."

Kyungsoo's brain is still in the process of registering the path in which this conversation is going.

"So.. When you finally told me that you are D.O I was scared. Because it meant you must have thought I tried to hit on her or something... I was sure that would be the moment you'd quit your job and push me away forever."

Chanyeol's expression is now slowly softening.

"It took the best out of me not to start sobbing when you had your breakdown.. I was freaking out.. I don't ever want to see it happen again.."

"Hey, it wasn't that bad--"

"Kyungsoo, it was terrifying. I was tempted to call an ambulance when your legs gave in and your eyes rolled back."

Sharp again. His eyes pierce through Kyungsoo's soul.

"..Oh.. I guess I can't really remember..."

"Anyway. What I'm saying is.. Uhm--... uh..."

Chanyeol turns mute now, his mouth keeps gaping open as if to speak but no sound comes out. His eyes are shaking in their slots and his hand is gripping at his own jeans above the knee.

"Shit-- god--.. Kyungsoo-- have you ever.. uh.... Have you ever done any of the things you write about..?"

Kyungsoo was in the middle of reaching for his glass of lemonade, but with such a question his hand shook so hard he almost knocked the glass over. Eyes wide and heart blasting in his ears.

"N-No. Never.. Why..?"

Cautiously Kyungsoo turns to stare at Chanyeol, who seems to blush as red as Kyungsoo feels his own cheeks must look.

Barely anything of what Chanyeol had said until now managed to reach Kyungsoo's conscious understanding yet.

"Would you want to? I mean-- to try-- and.. Uh.. Maybe try them with me..? Sometime. Not now. That'd be creepy. Not that what you write is creepy-- Just doing such things right away is a bit.. Well-- I just--.. Maybe after some months? Or years? If you're comfortable and-- uh.."

Kyungsoo's eyes are focused on Chanyeol's face. His eyes are turning to look all over the place while he speaks, along with his hands.

What.. is he saying..?

"Kyungsoo."

He takes a long breath and exhales loudly before leaning in closer to Kyungsoo and grabbing his hand between his own two big palms, tugging between the fingers with his own and rubbing his thumb over the back of Kyungsoo's hand.

"Kyungsoo, I love you. Please go out with me."

Kyungsoo saw Chanyeol's head moving closer and closer into his sight until there was nothing else, his beautiful face right in front of him, so deep into his personal space. But it doesn't feel wrong. It doesn't feel like his social right for distance is being violated.

On the contrary, it feels like Chanyeol had always belonged in there to begin with.

"Yeah... Okay.."

His whisper was swallowed by Chanyeol's lips on his own.

It's soft. It's soft and smooth and pleasant just like Kyungsoo had always imagined it'd be.

Warmth spreads through his body when Chanyeol leads the kiss on.

Prying way through the gap between Kyungsoo upper and lower lips, Chanyeol slides into his mouth and begins exploring with his tongue.

It's sweet. It's sweet and gentle and delicious just like Kyungsoo had always imagined it'd be.

Their lips practice as a cage for the sloppy tongue wrestling that they're engaged in.

Kyungsoo's world has disappeared into the void, and all that exists is Chanyeol. Chanyeol's big hand resting on the side of his neck and jaw, Chanyeol's arm slowly pulling Kyungsoo closer to his big body that Kyungsoo's fingers can finally run over and feel for himself.

Hot breathes leave their noses quickly since their mouths are occupied with exchanging the flavours Kyungsoo tries to carve into his memory.

 

  
Neither of them knows how long had passed, but once they both are finally able to breathe and restore the oxygen levels in their bodies, Kyungsoo finds himself on top of Chanyeol's lap.

Wrapped with two layers of blankets and another warmer layer of Chanyeol's arms. Both his legs are directed to the left side of the couch, and he's pretty glad they didn't get to the stage of straddling yet because otherwise he'd explode on spot.

Chanyeol's head is resting on top of his own, and it's extremely comfortable since he's rested against the creak of Chanyeol's shoulder.

To test the waters Kyungsoo attempts to move a few fingers, finding that they are located on Chanyeol's lower back with his arms resting on each side of Chanyeol's waist.

 

  
They are both quiet. It isn't clear whether the heart beat he hears belongs to Chanyeol or himself.

Either way, the only thing that bothers the peace is Kyungsoo's mind finally connecting the dots and bringing up the result of this whole situation.

His body jerks lightly and he burries his face deeper down, into Chanyeol's broad chest.

So.. They are dating now. They are together. So Chanyeol's flirts with D.O were just practice because he couldn't try them on Kyungsoo himself out of fear of rejection.. So Chanyeol has actually been liking Kyungsoo, him, himself, for this past year, and not the non existent cousin he pretended to be.

 

  
After a short while of more quiet breathing, Kyungsoo slowly pulls back, raising his face up to look at Chanyeol, who seems to have the most gentle most fond expression he'd ever seen.

His eyes are shining with affection and his lips are pulled up in a smile he's pretty sure Chanyeol has no control over.

 

  
"S-So you think I'm cute..?"

With a quiet voice and deep red cheeks he finally asked. And the laughter growing from the depths of Chanyeol's chest makes the both of them shake due to their position.

"Everything I've said and this is what you're worried about?"

"W-Well--.."

"Yes. I think you're endearing. Sweet and loveable."

Chanyeol leans his head a little closer and brushes his nose over Kyungsoo's, slowly going upwards until his lips clash onto Kyungsoo's forehead in a soft peck.

"One day I'll find the perfect pick up line you wouldn't be able to counter."

"In your dreams, Park Chanyeol."

"My dreams will be busy with other things..."

"... Oh my god, stop."

Kyungsoo pulls one hand back from behind Chanyeol and lightly pushes it onto the giant's smirking lips while pouting shyly.

What the hell did he just sign up to?

 

\--

 

Work continues as usual. Nothing changes in they way they interact with each other there.

It's not like there's much to hide, since they are both pretty much busy with work and don't exactly have any particular chances to expose their affection anywhere in the building.

But they both know their choice is putting them at great risk. Everytime they go out for a simple lunch out of the studio Chanyeol is hoarded by fans. He is used to it of course, and everyone knows Kyungsoo is simply a coworker, so they're being careful.

Everytime they go out for a movie Chanyeol's being stopped to sign some autographs. Only at the darkness of the theatre they are able to hold hands beneath the seats.

 

  
Chanyeol's latest album has put him up on par with some other legendary musicians in the industry, and Kyungsoo-- well, D.O's stories recieved so much recognition that a publishing company requested that he'd write a story they could release physically.

A novel. Not just on the digital platforms he's been using.

It's winter again and the small christmas party Chanyeol prepared for some close friends, including Baekhyun, was a great success.

Other than Baekhyun and the couple themselves, nobody knows of their blossoming relationship.

 

  
The christmas gift Kyungsoo recieved this year was a ticket to Florida US, and for some reason it was surprisingly easy to convince Chanyeol's manager to agree to the trip.

Probably because Kyungsoo's sense of responsibility is noticeable. Well, at least he tries to act like he has any of it.

They spent two weeks there, visiting any beautiful beach at any hour of the day, taking pictures (mostly of Chanyeol) in every location they pass by, enjoying the heat and the sun and getting tanned in the process.

Every night at the hotel they do a checkup on each other, to see exactly up until where these tanlines reach. Spoiling each other with kisses and affection and bringing some of Kyungsoo's greatest fantasies to life.

Many tipsy improvised karaoke nights in the hotel room were included, too.

 

  
It was exactly what they needed.

When they return, their whole pace of life intertwined into harmony. They are both convinced they spend more time at each other's places than their own.

The biggest fight they've ever gotten into was after Kyungsoo went on a cleaning spree in Chanyeol's apartment, but right when he finished he found a dirty sock in the living room.

Chanyeol insisted it wasn't him who put it there, and eventually the culprint was found to be no other than Toben.

 

  
"So how many has it been until now?"

"I don't know.. five, maybe even seven."

"It's not that bad, he never made you keep them for longer than a week, right?"

Kyungsoo sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose underneath the glasses.

"I guess so. It still doesn't make it okay to just bring them here and force me t--"

A knock on the door.

"Speaking of the devil..."

Kyungsoo mumbles to himself while getting up to the door and Baekhyun laughs in amusement while sipping on his juice.

 

  
"Kyungsoo!! Okay, I know. I know you don't like it but please--!! Look at it--!!"

Chanyeol shoves his big palms towards Kyungsoo at the moment the door is unlocked and Kyungsoo's nonchalant cold expression doesn't phase him, nor his puppy eyes.

Looking down, Kyungsoo sees a really small bird with a twisted wing. Poor thing...

"Chanyeol.. Why do you--"

"Please, please. I'll take care of it, I can't keep it at home with Toben around."

"You always say this but I'm the one that ends up doing everything."

Kyungsoo glances up at him with a pout, and Chanyeol's stressed expression turns into a smile when he leans in and pecks Kyungsoo's lips.

"Only for a week."

"Chanyeo--"

"Please."

A heavy sigh.

"Fine."

 

  
Once the two make their way inside Baekhyun's already standing up with anticipation to see Kyungsoo's new week-long staying guest. He hops towards Chanyeol and peeks into his hands before making some cooing noises at the clueless bird holed inside.

 

  
It doesn't come as a surprise when D.O's next fanfiction revolves around Chanyeol saving a bird during the spring.

 

  
"Hey, just so you know.. The reason I wanted to meet D.O so bad back then was... because I wanted to ask her about you.."

Chanyeol confessed one day, in an early morning of a weekend. His voice deep, hoarse and raspy from behind Kyungsoo's frame.

"It's way too early for this.."

"Yeah. I just.. had to say it."

Chanyeol's hand is resting on Kyungsoo's stomach, and the warmth is so soothing, he feels like he's healing while his eyes slowly shut again.

"Mmh.."

 

  
Some days.

On evenings when Kyungsoo feels particularly cold, a simple text saying 'Come for a bit?' is enough to bring Chanyeol over with a delivery of their favourite bakery's goods.

At times like these Chanyeol lets himself in with his own spare key and grins all the way inside.

Kyungsoo often feels like Chanyeol is trying to torture him, because after placing the bag on the coffee table he always takes s o  l o n g to make them hot chocolate.

That's okay, because when beaming Chanyeol finally sits down, Kyungsoo gets the most amazing cuddles.

Their limbs fit together perfectly in the most comfortable positions.

And when his head is resting on Chanyeol's chest, hearing the slow soothing beat of his heart, Kyungsoo is with Chanyeol.

And he closes his eyes.

And he's home.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Come cry with me about Chansoo [here.](https://twitter.com/ksoominie)
> 
> Also thank you for reading! ♡  
> Let me know what you think!


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